Holiday Tears
by henachanxox
Summary: It's Christmas time and Hiei is grieving over the loss of his sister Yukina. Along with the others, he believes that his broken heart will never heal. Until he meets a youkai named Jenn. Can she soften Hiei's heart and possibly make him fall in love?
1. Chapter 1

**Holiday Tears**

"**Prologue"**

Hiei kneeled down onto the solid white ground, too tired to stand anymore. The wind blew ferociously through his black hair, causing the tips it tickle the front of his eyelashes. Winter had come early that year. Too early if you asked him. It was a late November evening and the snow was coming down even harder than it was the day before and the strong wind did not make the temperature seem warmer. Hiei felt his shoes crunch through the thick layer of snow that had fallen onto the cold hard grass as he leaned over and touched the giant rock in front of him.

It was a beautiful black marble color stone with light writing. It was the perfect size too. Not too big and flashy but big enough to make you realize that whoever was buried there was dearly loved. And she was. She really was. Grasping his flowing scarf with one hand, he used the other to trace the letters on the stone as he felt a lump start to come up in his throat. His eyes burned with sorrow and grief as the wind picked up even harder. The snow was beginning to ease down but he was too zoned to notice the change in the snow. He continued to trace the letters as he took in memories. Some were good, some were bad. But he never wanted to forget what it had meant and brought into his life. He departed his hand from his scarf and sat it into the snowy grass, keeping his balance sturdier. He stopped tracing the letters and sat his hand there a moment, still. He could feel the wind begin to freeze his skin as he gripped his hand into a fist onto the ground, allowing him to pick up a handful of snow. He trembled in his grieving just as he did the night it happened. Even three years from now, that night would forever change him.

Hiei sat there for what felt like hours. Finally, the wind began to pick up and he realized that he did not want to be out in the cold weather any longer. He brought his cold hand from the stone to his face and kissed his fingertips. He placed the kissed fingertips on the stone gently as he swallowed the lump in his throat. He gripped the top of the stone and pulled himself up from the snow covered ground. He tightened his scarf around his warm neck and turned his back to walk the other direction. As he listened to the sound of the snow crunching beneath his boots he turned back around at the stone and read it one more time.

_Yukina Kuwabara._

_Loving wife and friend._

He closed his eyes tightly and quickly turned back around. He started to walk at a slow pace, and then picked up his speed. Soon enough he was running through the fields not letting the direction of the wind hold him back from his running. He gasped for breath as if he were taking his last as he felt his eyes burn with tears.

"Oh, Yukina…… Yukina."

**Chapter One**

"**Greif, Babies and Planes"**

Hiei turned over face up on his bed and watched the ceiling fan go in circles in his dark room. He gripped the covers and pulled them over his body letting his chin touch the tip of the material where it was only his head that was uncovered. He was freezing in this cold dark room. Even though he was a fire demon, he found himself hardly ever sweating or becoming warm or hot. It never made sense to him. But when he thought about it he realized that after Yukina's death, it was like his body temperature skyrocketed. Except it went to the cooler temperatures and remained that way. He yawned and rubbed his eyes. He didn't sleep that night. Of course, he didn't sleep much at all during any night anymore. He was completely exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically. He shut his eyes and tried to relax beneath the goose-down white comforter he was covered in. This was the reason he couldn't sleep anymore. Every time his eyes were shut, all he saw were painful memories of the night where he learned about his sister's death. His sweet, beloved, one and only sister. The only person he ever loved and the only reason why he woke up in the morning. Her. No matter how far away he was from her, she remained with him in his heart and spirit and he felt warm whenever she was around. Maybe that's why he was always cold now. He only felt warm whenever she was alive and breathing. And now that she's no longer with him, it took away a part of him. She really was a part of him. She was his blood.

He turned over on his side and brought his knees up to his chest, curling himself into a ball. God, how he missed her. The house has not been the same since that night. Yusuke and the gang bought a house together in countryside of Japan and decided to live here with one another and live normal lives. Hiei did not move in, of course. He thought the idea of it was barbaric, living under the same roof as the idiot. That idiot…. He heard word 8 years ago that Yukina had wed Kuwabara back in Tokyo. He came back to the Ningenkai and watched his sister marry the biggest idiot he had ever known. He did not sit with the others; instead he hid in a tree and watched his sister walk down the isle from there. She was so beautiful. She wore a long white dress that was simple but not plain and ordinary. It fit her so well. Her long hair was up with the glowing veil flowing down her back. Yusuke was the best man. Botan was the maid of honor. As he remembered watching her walk down the aisle towards Kuwabara, he couldn't help but think that he deserved a spot up front with them somewhere. He wanted to be in that part of her life so much. And whenever he saw them kiss, it made him sick to his stomach. But as much as he hated the very idea of having Kuwabara Yukina's husband… he knew that he loved her. To this day, Kuwabara will go up to Yukina's grave and put flowers beside her tombstone. Twice a year: her birthday and their anniversary. Those were the days where Yukina was happiest. Kuwabara always made surprises for her birthday. It was always a day he would make for her. And their anniversary was a day Yukina would always make special for him. At the funeral, he fell to a million pieces. It took Yusuke and Kurama both to contain him as they lowered her into the ground. After seeing how faithful and good he was to Yukina during the five years of their marriage, it was hard for Hiei to hate him as he used to. It was three years ago, and Kuwabara still has not been with any other women. Yusuke tries to get him to get out and meet other people but he always said that Yukina was his one and only and that he would never try to replace her. It was just as hard for him as it was for Hiei, and Hiei knew it. Hiei took a long sigh as he let these thoughts sink in. This is why he didn't like sleeping at night. Because of the things he thought of and relived.

Suddenly there was a slight knock on the door. Hiei lifted up his head gently and made no motion to go and answer it or to respond to the knock. Instead, he laid his head back down onto the feathered pillow.

"Hiei, it's Kurama," he could hear his youko friend talk quietly on the other side of the door. He knew that he was asleep in bed or at least trying to be. "I'm coming in." Hiei heard the door knob turn as the door creaked open. He listened to the red headed fox shut the door behind him and walk over the bed and sat down at the end of his feet.

"Keiko cooked us some good food downstairs," he said after a moment of silence. "It's going to be ready in about five minutes. It'd be nice if you came down and ate something with us," he turned his head to his fire demon friend all snuggled up in the covers.

Hiei made no movement. "Not hungry," was all he could say.

Kurama turned his head and looked down at the floor with his hands folded in his lap. He closed his eyes and wished so much that Hiei would get himself out of this room. He was just making things harder on himself. He sat there for a moment again until he finally spoke.

"Hiei, you haven't eaten in three days. You need to eat."

"Not hungry," he repeated.

"Come eat. It will make you feel better."

Hiei felt rage hit him.

"How the hell would you know what would make me feel better?"

Kurama raised his eyebrows at Hiei. He hadn't spoken much the past couple of years. And this was indeed his first insult since Yukina died. As much as he tried to contain himself, he slipped his hand over his smiling chuckle.

"Get dressed and come downstairs. I don't want to ask you again."

He got up and walked out the door.

Hiei sat there and turned his hands into fists from annoyance. He wanted more than anything to not go downstairs and see everybody. But he knew that if he didn't do it now, Kurama would keep coming up here. This was he can satisfy the damn fox a little.

- - - - - - - - - -

The table was quiet. Hiei's presence caused everybody to say very little; afraid of saying something that would upset him even more than he already was. Hiei played with his pasta, twirling it around his fork unable to find the dish appealing to his stomach. Nevertheless, he tried to put something down. Maybe it would really make him feel better. The silence was irritating him. He knew what was going on. They were feeling sorry for him. He did not want pity from any of the assholes at that table. He didn't even want to be there around them. He didn't want to see their faces. He saw nothing but their faces for three years and he was sick of it. And he was sick of living in this house. However, he knew he had no other place to go. He left Muruko in Makai whenever he heard about Yukina and he never thought he would find the strength to get up and go back. So he stayed in Nigenkai. He heard word from another in Makai that she found another heir. Screw her then. He didn't want her or anything she offered him. He thought about picking up and leaving this God forsaken house but he knew deep down that he would not find happiness any other place. He was miserable here, but he knew he would be miserable wherever he went. As much as he hated it, it was a fact. So he decided to take Kurama's advice and try and stay here with everybody until he found something else to do with his life. So he was just moping around the house like some pathetic girl watching soap operas.

"Botan, could you pass me the salt please?" Yusuke asked Botan across the table. Botan picked up the salt and reached over the table and handed it to him.

"This is amazing, Keiko." Yusuke smiled and kissed his wife on the cheek while the others agreed and nodded with him.

"Oh, it was nothing you guys. It's my pleasure!" Keiko smiled cheerfully.

"Well.. Are you going to tell them?" Yusuke asked Keiko as he elbowed her in the ribs.

Hiei's attention was caught and he looked up at the married couple, He looked around and realized the others were doing the same. Keiko took a deep breath and looked at her husband with a dreamy smile on her face. They looked at one another for a little bit and Keiko turned around and faced everybody.

"We're going to have a baby!" she exclaimed.

Hiei shut his eyes whenever he heard the shrieks of Botan and the others. Suddenly, the table became loud and chaotic with questions and comments. They sure knew how to break a silence. Suddenly, Hiei's attention was drawn to Kuwabara down the table. Kuwabara was smiling and congratulating his best friend on the news, but Hiei saw something different about him than the way he was acting. He could see sadness in his eyes and he knew that he really wasn't happy at the news that Keiko and Yusuke just shared. The truth was Kuwabara and Yukina wanted children very much. They talked about it for a year and Hiei overheard Yukina telling Keiko that they were going to start trying to get pregnant. He didn't know what to think about it. Half of him wanted to pound the shit out of Kuwabara just thinking about what they will have to do in order to get pregnant but at the same time, he saw his sister's eyes whenever she was telling Keiko about it. She was so excited and happy to become a mother. He knew that it was hurting Kuwabara listening to his best friend talk about becoming a father. Because he and Kuwabara both knew that he would never become one.

- - - - - - -

"One ticket, please…. Thank you," a long brown haired girl took the plane ticket from the lady at the counter and placed it in her bag around her shoulder.

She made her way through the busy airport trying to dodge people on cell phones in a rush to get onto their plane. Just watching people like that stressed her out. _How the hell can they live their lives like that_, she thought. She took a deep breath and tried to relax as she made her way to the line of security. This was the fun part. She had never been on a plane, but her friend said that going through security is a major pain in the ass. She took her spot and

waited in line. She looked at her watch. Twenty minutes till three. She groaned and wondered if she would ever get out of this place in time. She took her ticket out of her bag as she tried to wait patiently. This was her very first plane ticket, and she was curious to see what they looked like. She scanned the time and date and destination. Okinawa, Tokyo.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"**The Visitor"**

"Why the hell are we down here Kurama?" Hiei asked as Kurama sat down on the couch next to him in the living room.

"Yusuke has some news to share with us this afternoon. He asked everybody to come down here so he could talk to us." Kurama explained quietly as everybody was making their way into the living room.

"I don't think I can take anymore of their surprises." Hiei smirked.

Kurama gave him a slight grin happy to see his friend's normal attitude was coming back. Their attention met Yusuke as he entered the room and stood up in front of everyone.

"Hey guys, thanks for coming down here. Listen I have some really good news." He began.

"Are they going to be TWINS!!?" Botan shrieked in excitement.

Yusuke's eyebrow raised, "Uh… no, Botan." He shook his head as he tried to get back on subject. "We've got a visitor coming tonight who is going to be staying with us for the holiday. Now she's bringing a hell of a lot of luggage so she's probably going to be here a good while."

Hiei rolled his eyes as soon as he heard the words. A visitor. He could not take anymore souls in this house than he had to. Especially if it was a girl who was all hyper and perky and shrieked and yelped with Botan all the time and-

"What visitor?" his thoughts were broken with Kuwabara's question.

"Her name's Jenn Takagi. I can't really give you too much detail on her but she actually worked with me while I was in Makai for a long time. She's a fire demon like Hiei and well, she's been through a lot… she wants out of Makai for a normal life. She didn't enjoy it over there and she's searching for something better. And whenever I heard that she was coming to Ningenkai I invited her to stay with us for the holidays."

Hiei suddenly wanted to be interested in this bit of information; however, he could not bring himself to care. As interesting it was that it was going to be another person from Makai living here, he still wished that she could have went somewhere else. This house was getting crowded enough as it was.

Botan started to jump up and down. "OH yay! Another woman in the house, this is going to be exciting!"

Yusuke crossed his arms and laughed. "I'm glad you think so Botan. Because you're going to have to share you room with her."

Botan shrugged. "No big, that's cool."

"When is she supposed to come in today?" asked Kurama.

"She'll be here by 6:30 and Keiko and I are going to go pick her up at the airport." He answered.

Hiei sank into the couch and wished with all of his might, that he were somewhere else.

- - - - - - -

"WHAT? You're LEAVING me here?!" Hiei yelled at Kurama.

"It's only for a few hours, Hiei." Kurama said as he gathered his car keys. "Keiko and Yusuke just left to go pick up Liz. They'll be here soon. The gang and I have to go grocery shopping so we can have some food to eat while she's here. And Botan wants to pick up some Christmas decorations while we are in town."

"What the hell am I supposed to do when she gets here?" Hiei raged as he flopped down onto his bed and watched his friend prepare to leave the house.

"Work that charm you have that we love so much." Kurama winked at him and walked out the door of his room.

Hiei growled under his breath and stood up from his bed. He did not like the situation he was in. Kurama took everybody into town while Keiko and Yusuke made their way to the airport leaving him here alone to greet the little bitch whenever she got here. Well, he really wasn't in the mood to be hospitable. He walked over to the coat rack over his door and grabbed his coat, slung it around him and walked to the balcony doors at the edge of his room. He opened up the doors and automatically felt the cold November air. Stepping out onto the balcony slowly, he shut the door behind him. He walked over the railing around the parched balcony and sat himself up there as he looked over the gorgeous view that waited for him everyday outside his window.

It was the only house in 60 acres, and right here on Hiei's balcony, you could see all 60 acres. In the far distance he saw the mountains that faded into the dark winter sky. There were tall green trees everywhere covered in snow from the previous days of constant snowfall. He took a deep breath and took in the scent of pine that lurked among the balcony and his room. He definitely had the best room in the house. His room was on the third floor and the only rooms on the floor was his room, his bathroom and a storage room that Yusuke put God knows what in there. Whenever they first bought the house, Botan and Kuwabara and Keiko argued over it. It was definitely popular among the others. However, Yusuke and Kurama agreed to save the room for Hiei in case he ever came back. They gave him the best room because it was isolated from everything else and they knew that it was the room Hiei would feel most comfortable in. But lately, it's as if he was becoming too comfortable in there. Most days, he stays in the room and sits on the balcony looking over the trees and upon the mountains until his cold body can't handle the weather anymore. It wasn't snowing right now and the wind was barely blowing. Thank God for that, Hiei thought. But it was definitely the coldest November he had ever experienced. And it was still in the very beginning of the month. But at least it wasn't snowing again. He was sick and tired of the snow. Literally sick. The sight of it used to comfort him. Every time he saw snowfall he thought of Yukina and it gave him peace. But lately it's almost as if God is shoving it into his face forcing him to think of painful memories. He looked down at the ground and wondered if he would ever find the strength in him to pick up again and leave. God knows he wants to more than anything. But pick up and leave for what? Live for what for that matter? As far as he was concerned, he no longer had a reason to live. He no longer had a purpose in this place. His love for Yukina was what kept him alive and now he has and felt no more love for anything or anyone. He sighed and watched his breath in the air fade away into the cold slight wind. He was almost certain that nobody felt that way for him either.

After a few moments of admiring the scenery, he slipped his hands under his bottom and tossed himself off of the railing of the balcony. He walked back into the room quietly and slipped his heavy coat off his shoulders. He placed it on the bed, not bothering to hang it up. He walked over to the door, opened it and headed to the bathroom down the hall. He opened the door and turned on the lights and squinted his eyes. These damn light bulbs were always brighter than the other ones in the house. He waited for his pupils to totally dilate from the bright light and shut the door behind him. His bathroom wasn't the biggest bathroom in the house but it was plenty big for one person, and he was the only person who used it. The walls were pastel blue colors and it was one of the few rooms that didn't give him a headache, but actually kind of relaxed him. He figured it was because of the pastel blue. The color blue always soothed and calmed him for some reason. There weren't very many rooms in the house that were painted, and if they were it was a soft pastel color. Most of the other rooms were white, like Hiei's room. He hated white rooms. But his room was always dark with very little lights on so his didn't bother him

He reached below and opened the cabinet under the sink, grabbing a towel and threw it over the shower curtain. He walked over to the shower and turned the knob on allowing the water to shoot through the showerhead. While he waited to it to get warm, he started to strip his clothes off. First his sweater, then his pants, his white under tank top, underwear, and socks. Naked, he walked over to the shower and pushed the curtain to his right allowing him some space to step in. Once he did, he felt the hot water shoot him in the back. For some reason, the water pressure in his bathroom was the hardest. He liked it though. He spent a lot of his time in the shower. Mostly because he was always cold in the house and the shower was the only place he could warm up at. He ducked his head and felt the hot water splash his scalp and drip over his shoulder and collar bone down his naked body. The high pressure in the water massaged his cold back muscles and he breathed in and out the steam that came from the high temperature of the water. He closed his eyes and just relaxed in the cleansing shower and tried to not think about his life during the past three years.

- - - - - - -

"Here we are!" Yusuke burst through the door with two large luggage bags in his hands. Keiko, with a smaller duffle bag in her hand followed Yusuke into the front door.

"I sure hope you enjoy your stay with us, Liz." Keiko smiled happily as she entered the house with the long haired brunette next to her. Jenn looked around the main room and a smile came upon her face.

"You sure did a good job with the house shopping, Yusuke," she commented.

Yusuke was already going up the stairs putting her luggage in Botan's room.

"Ah it was a heck of a deal!!" he called out from upstairs and Jenn chuckled at his sheering voice. She turned to Keiko and touched her shoulder.

"Congratulations, by the way, I'm so happy for you guys," she said. "Yusuke always talked about you in Makai."

Keiko's eyes beamed towards her. "Well, thank you. We're really excited."

"I bet."

Yusuke came down the steps, looking like he just got done running a marathon. Keiko laughed at him.

"You're out of shape, sweetie!" she said poking his stomach as he gathered the rest of Jenn's luggage to take upstairs to the room. He laughed back, mocking her.

"I'm not the one who's gonna bloat up like a fat cow here in a couple of months." He said as he made his way back up the stairs.

Keiko's mouth dropped. "FINE then. Whenever I'm sitting there eating my ass out on bonbons and sugar cookies weighing a hundred and eighty pounds just remember this. YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!" she yelled at the end of the stairs to him.

Jenn laughed at the couple and shook her head. They were exactly as she pictured them. And Keiko was exactly how Yusuke described her to be. Naggy, uptight, Clingy… but she liked her. She liked them both. And they liked her very much as well. She was indeed much classier than Keiko had imagined. A demon from Makai, she expected to be ugly and basically a girl version of Hiei. She brushed off her irritation at Yusuke and watched Jenn walk around the living room and check out the place she would call home for a good amount of time. She thought she was quite lovely. She didn't really say all that much, and sometimes it would come off to other girls as ignorant, self-indulged or rude. But Keiko did not see any of that in Jenn. She had a softness about her that made her believe that she was a deeply caring individual.

"So, does the place pass for ya?" Keiko asked walking over to her.

Jenn looked up at Keiko with a small smile on her face. "The place is beautiful. It is. I wanted to thank you guys so much for allowing me a place to stay. You have no idea what it means."

Keiko threw her hands up. "It's our pleasure. I can't wait till the others get here so you can meet everyone! And wait until you meet Botan, your roommate. She's so thrilled to have another girl in the house."

Jenn looked at her with a concerned look on her face. "How many guys are staying here?"

"Well…" Keiko began hoping that she would not be offended by all the males in the house. "There's four guys and two girls. Well, three, now that you're here. It's you, me, Botan and the guys are Yusuke, Shuichi-"

"Kurama, you mean?" Jenn corrected.

"Oh, yes…Gomen. Kurama," Keiko said, forgetting that this girl was from Makai. "And then there's Hiei and Kazuma." You'll meet them all whenever they get back from town. Kurama took them to buy some groceries because frankly, the fridge is ridiculous."

Jenn shot a smile at her, finding her statement humorous. "Well I look forward to when they get here…. Do you mind if I take a look around?"

"Oh heavens, no! Look all you want! I'll be upstairs with Yusuke if you need anything." Keiko said as she excused herself from the room.

"Thank you!" Jenn called out as Keiko marched upstairs to her and her husband's room. Jenn took a deep breath and looked around the house. She really did love their house. She was taken aback by its size, it was rather large than Yusuke described it would be. However, she was unaware that they had so many people living there. Nevertheless, it was a cozy house in the mountains and it was even better than she was expecting it would be. She glanced over to the stairs and decided to see the rest of the house. She walked over to the staircase and walked up the thirteen steps. She came around the corner and saw a rather large hallway. She heard Yusuke and Keiko talking in one of the closed doors and realized that was their room. She giggled at the fight they had a few minutes earlier and walked on. She saw the other three rooms down the hall. They were all different sizes and styles. One of them had a bouquet of roses on the nightstand and a maroon red bed comforter. She nodded and assumed this was Kurama's room. She turned again towards the hallway and continued her way onto the house. She peeked into the next room on the left and saw two beds, one blue and one green. Although it was a simple room with very little decoration she knew that it was her and Botan's room. She wanted to step in and check out her new room but she continued on.

The next room she came upon had the door shut. Remembering that nobody else was here, she walked up and slowly opened the door. Inside was a room that was semi-messy. The bed wasn't made and there were a few clothes on the floor. Nothing to go nuts about but it definitely was a room of someone who was really laid back. Curious, she stepped in and checked it out and realized that this room had the most windows in the house. There was a large window that overlooked the front driveway of the house and the road that was off of it. She looked to her left and saw many pictures. She walked over to the dresser and looked at the pictures. There were all pictures of the same person. A pretty girl with long aqua hair with dashing red eyes. She looked and saw one picture of her on the beach in her bathing suit smiling radiantly with the sun shining brightly over her. There was another of her and a tall guy kissing under mistletoe at Christmastime. She reached in the back and picked up the picture that popped out to her the most. It was a close-up picture of her outside in the snow. She had on a bright purple scarf and red earmuffs. She was smiling at the camera. Her smile wasn't as big as it was in the others. It was more natural and less posed as if she were admiring the person taking the picture more than posing for it. Jenn smiled at what she thought was the most adorable picture she had ever seen.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps above her. She sat the picture down where she found it and walked outside the room. She turned into the hallway and turned around the corner and saw another staircase. This probably leads up to the third floor, she thought. She took a deep breath before she proceeded to walk upstairs.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"**The Meeting"**

Hiei rubbed his hair roughly as he stared at himself through the fog-stained mirror. That was by far the longest shower he had ever taken. He looked at his fingers and saw that they were as wrinkly as a hundred year old prune. He felt the steam in the room rise and cause him to sweat. He looked at himself through the mirror. He could not tell a difference in his appearance over the years. The only change was that his muscles had toned up a little more. To forget his pain, he exercised a lot more. There was a room downstairs that Yusuke turned into a gym with a treadmill, weights and a few other machines. Nothing too fancy but it was a place that Hiei tried to occupy himself. He never really worked out before in his life but it was a good way to try and keep his mind off his life the past three years. He enjoyed running more than anything. He usually will run four miles everyday but got out of the habit somehow last month and hadn't done it in a few weeks. Nevertheless, he definitely could tell a difference in his body. He was definitely in shape, though, he didn't really care about developing his muscles any. He just wanted something to keep his mind occupied. Anything. Suddenly, he heard the door open wide and it startled him.

"What the hell?!" he jumped as he saw a girl walk in on him with long brown. Jenn saw that she had walked in on someone and her mouth dropped.

"Oh my god…I am sooo sorry."

"GET THE HELL OUT!" Hiei yelled and Jenn slammed the door shut. Over on the other side of the door, she covered her mouth with her hand and blushed with embarrassment. She walked over on the other side of the hall and sat down and tried to recap everything in her mind. Keiko said that everybody was gone so she wasn't expecting anybody to be up here. She just wanted to see the rest of the house. So this wasn't her fault, right? _Oh, God._ She covered her face and cursed herself under her breath until she heard the door open. She glanced up and remembered that Hiei was in a towel and jerked her head back down onto the floor.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't expecting anybody to be up here!" she said defensively.

Hiei let out a long irritated sigh, realizing she wasn't looking at him.

"Well, there's no sense in covering your eyes now. You already saw me," he said coldly.

Slowly, Jenn brought her head back up to his direction and stood upon her feet, and for a moment, Hiei couldn't breathe. She was a somewhat petite girl with long breast length chocolate brown hair that hung over her toned shoulders. He looked at her up and down and found her really attractive. She had olive skin and bright honey colored eyes. She was a little shorter than he was and wore a white tank top with jeans and brown sandals. Her jeans revealed the curves in her hips and legs. Though what she was wearing was really simple, it fit every inch of her body so well.

"I'm Jenn," she said with a small smile as she broke into his thoughts. He shook his head slightly, removing the images from his head and looked at her in the eyes. Somehow, she reminded him of somebody. Her eyes soft and gently, her face flawless. Her smile innocent. But he didn't know who….

Hiei blinked a few times and realized he wasn't responding to her.

"Hn. Hiei."

She nodded at him and realized that he wasn't much of a talker. She couldn't help but stare at him in his towel. He looked as he had just stepped out of the shower because his skin was glowing from the water remains. His muscles were defined and his shoulders broad. His hair jet black and messy, half wet and half dry. His bangs hung over his forehead and the tips of his eyes. She realized she was staring and blinked herself back to reality. After looking at each other for a while, Hiei turned and walked down the hall to his room. Jenn didn't want to leave with things as awkward as they were. She slowly followed him to his room.

"So you're the koorime?" she asked him as she stood in the doorway of his room.

Searching through his drawers for a white tank, Hiei didn't bother to look up at her.

"That a problem?" he asked.

Jenn gave a careless shrug. "No problem to me."

"Yusuke told me about you."

"You don't know jack shit about me," Hiei shot a look at her as he slammed the drawer. And to his surprise, she didn't draw back like the others would have. In fact, she had a calm look on her face as if nothing had fazed her. She sat there and looked at him the same way she looked at him when she introduced herself. And for some reason, that fascinated him.

"You're right. I probably don't," she said with another shrug.

Who was this girl? Hiei tried and took a closer look at her. He tried to figure her out. A lot of times with people, he can make accurate first impressions, Figure out what kind of people they were, what they were capable of, what their personality may be. But this girl… he was completely confused on. He watched her take a deep breath and look around his room.

"Why is it so dark in here?" she asked.

Hiei rolled his eyes, knowing some kind of stupid question was coming.

"I prefer the dark. I don't expect someone like you to understand that," he said as he slipped on the white tank top he pulled from the drawer. When he pulled the shirt over his head and situated it around his chest, he glanced up and saw her still standing in the doorway with that same careless look on her face.

"Actually…" she began. "I prefer the dark too."

With that, she turned and walked down the hallway back downstairs. Hiei stood there for a moment after she left, trying to take in everything that was said and everything that happened. He walked over to the door, shut and locked it and dropped his towel to put on some sweatpants. Shortly after he put them on, he heard Kurama and the others pull up into the driveway.

- - - - - -

"Kuwabara, what about this one?" Yusuke held up a baby blue baby outfit with a gleeful smile on his face. Kuwabara looked over his shoulder and nodded. He really didn't feel like coming to the department store and shop for baby clothes with his friend but he knew that if he didn't get out of the house today, he would be miserable. He looked back down at the rack of baby clothes and the small little things touched his heart. He thought about how amazing it was for something to be so small and so precious and innocent. And he sat there and lived on the amazing thought that he was ever that small.

"Hey, man." Yusuke said softly as he walked up next to him looking through the rack of clothes. "How have you been lately?"

Kuwabara didn't look at him. He kept his attention on the clothes. "Well, I've been doing okay." He finally said. Yusuke let out a sigh of relief at the sound of his voice. He was hoping that he would be in a talking mood today. It had been so long since he had been in one. He put his hand on his shoulder.

"We can go back to the house, if you want. We don't have to do this today." He suggested. He knew what the news of him becoming a soon to be father was doing to his friend and he didn't want to make things any harder for him.

"No, no it's ok." Kuwabara shook his head. "I'm happy for you and Keiko, I really am. I'm just….. a little jealous," he walked around the rack of clothes to see the other side of the selection.

This broke Yusuke's heart. How in the hell could he have been so selfish? Kuwabara was apparently still suffering from his loss and all he could do and think about was talk about him and Keiko's pregnancy. He wanted to pound himself in the face, unable to think of anything to say that would comfort him.

"Kuwabara, I'm-"

"Don't be. Really." Kuwabara looked up and smiled slightly. Yusuke smiled back at him.

"You do look like you've been getting better, you know," he said trying to boost his self esteem.

"Ah…" Kuwabara picked up a yellow baby girl's sundress and examined it. "There are good days and bad days. Some days I don't even want to get out of bed… and then other days I just feel like living would be the only way to keep her memory alive."

Yusuke nodded and tried not to talk too much. If Kuwabara wanted to talk, he wanted to give him the chance.

"I still don't think I'll be able to remarry, Yusuke. Not after Yukina. She was perfect. There will never be another like her."

"I understand, man. But what would Yukina want for you to do?" Yusuke asked.

Kuwabara paused in disbelief. He never thought about it from that perspective. As painful as it was, he thought on it for a little bit and finally answered as they walked away from the child's section of the department store.

"I think she would want me to be happy. Even if that meant to remarry someone."

Yusuke nodded again and patted him on the back.

"But take your time, Kuwabara. Only you can make that decision. I'm sorry if we've been giving you a hard time with it. We just want you happy and peppy again. But this has been hard on all of us. Especially Hiei…."

Kuwabara clenched at the sound of his name.

"He couldn't possibly be suffering more than me….," he said with his head down.

"Kuwabara…" Yusuke said softly. "Hiei has probably suffered more than any of us have. She was his sister. She was the only reason why he kept on living."

Kuwabara shook his head. "I don't think that's the reason why he's suffering."

Yusuke stopped and looked at him in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"He never told her he was her brother."

- - - - - - - - -

"Good Morning, Jenn!" Botan greeted with a coffee mug in her hand as she watched her roommate walk down the stairs into the living room. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and her white fitted T-shirt wrinkled around her body. Botan took a look at it and knew that she slept like a rock.

"Good morning," she said as she rubbed her face with a muffled smile. Botan giggled and took a sip of her coffee. She was cute when she woke up.

"Sleep well?" asked Botan.

"Like a rock." Jenn made her way over to the coffee maker to pour herself a mug.

"Looks like it." Botan laughed. Jenn smiled behind her at her spunkiness as she poured the steaming coffee into a brown mug. She mixed in some milk just the way she likes it and took a refreshing drink whenever she was done. After a few drinks between the two roommates, Hiei came downstairs. For some reason, when he saw Jenn standing in the kitchen with her coffee, his stomach tightened. He didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. He was too tired and it was too early to think upon it.

"Good Morning, Hiei!" Botan greeted cheerfully, just she had with Jenn.

"Hn." Hiei looked over at her and continued to walk past her.

Botan sipped her coffee some more. Judging by the look on his face, she knew he didn't mean it as an insult. He reached up into the cabinet and took a coffee mug as soon as he reached the other end of the kitchen, Jenn standing right beside him. For a moment, she thought about moving but she was comfortable where she was, leaning up against the countertop. She watched him pour his coffee in silence and noticed that he didn't look like such a wreck in the morning as she thought he would. To her surprise, he looked well put-together. He finished pouring his coffee and stood next to her and drank it as if he didn't even realize she was in the kitchen. Botan glanced back and forth between them unaware of what was going on and confused to what each of them were thinking. She felt awkward standing there in the kitchen with them but she didn't know why. They weren't really even talking to one another… so why should she feel awkward?

Hiei took one more big sip of his coffee and slowly looked over at Jenn and watched her finish hers. He finally opened his mouth to speak.

"You know, you shouldn't really drink coffee. I hear it stunts your growth."

Botan almost chocked on hers. _What the hell was that for,_ she thought irritated at Hiei's rudeness. _He should talk!_

Jenn looked up at Hiei and smiled.

"You sound like you speak from experience."

It was all Botan could do to hold her laugh in under her breath. With those last words, Hiei gave her a slight smile and walked back upstairs. Botan stood there in shock as Jenn washed off her coffee mug and put it into the dishwasher.

"May I ask… what was all of that about?" Botan walked over to Jenn.

Jenn looked up at her raised her eyebrows. "Don't ask me," she laughed.

"But how did you do it?" Botan asked.

"Do what?"

Botan paused for a moment.

"That's the first time I've seen him smile in three years."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"**Secrets and Painted Canvases"**

Kurama neatly folded the towels into the laundry basket after he pulled out the rather large load from the dryer. It was his night to do laundry. He actually volunteered. As crazy as it was, he enjoyed being downstairs in the laundry room. It allowed him to have some peace and quiet and some time to think and reflect on things. However, this time was different. Hiei came downstairs with him to help out.

"So I heard you and Jenn are getting along really well," Kurama said over his shoulder as Hiei divided the many baskets of clothes into three piles. Hiei tried to keep himself busy with his dividing but he figured that if they did not have this conversation now, they would have it as many times it would take for him to respond. He just decided to go ahead and have it while he was in somewhat of a decent mood. He just will act like he won't care.

"Is that what you call it?" Hiei asked.

"She's really something isn't she?"

"Hn."

Kurama kept to himself for a moment and tried to think about how he could possibly get through to Hiei. He had tried dozens of times but he came to the realization that there was no way his heart would ever become softened. Hiei always put on such a strong and aggressive appearance, which he was. Going through the things of his life, he had to learn to be tough and take care of himself but somehow, Kurama knew that Hiei's heart was soft underneath the hard-covered shell. He wanted so much for him to let down the wall that he had been keeping up from everyone for so long. Not just because of his life story but because of what happened to Yukina. And how he had responded to the situation. It wasn't healthy.

"You know Thanksgiving is coming up in about a week. And Jenn volunteered to cook us a Thanksgiving dinner." Kurama started his small talk again, trying to keep the subject of Jenn open.

"Is there anything that girl doesn't do?" Hiei said flatly as he picked up one of the divided piles and placed it into the washer.

"Not sure. Why don't you ask her?"

Hiei shut the washer door and suddenly knew what Kurama was doing. A flash of anger hit him.

"What the hell are you trying to say?" he asked. He knew the answer, but he was wondering if Kurama would admit to it.

"I'm just saying! She's a nice girl and you two may have a lot in common with each other. I mean, damn, you're both fire demons and you both lived in Makai and somehow none of that has seemed to phase you yet. Aren't you curious about her?" Kurama just decided to let it out now and not beat around the bush.

Hiei pushed the start buttons on the washer furiously.

"If you think getting close to her is going to help me get over Yukina, you're dead wrong." Hiei turned his back on Kurama and walked over to the door leading back upstairs.

"Screw you, Kurama," Hiei slammed the door behind him as he walked out.

- - - - - - -

"So how long did you and Yusuke actually know each other in Makai?" Botan flopped on her bed as she let her hair down and brushed it softly. She loved having another girl in her room. It gave her someone to talk to and to have fun with.

"Quite a while, almost 2 and a half years. He and I just kinda helped watch each other's backs while we were going through some rough patches." Jenn came out of the bathroom and walked over to her bed and sat down.

"I would have never known you were from Makai had I met you beforehand." Botan smiled and then suddenly wondered how she should put into words what her thoughts were. "You seem so….well….so…._normal."_

Jenn laughed. "And other people in Makai don't?"

"HELL no." Botan looked at her vaguely.

Jenn smiled at Botan, obviously loving her enthusiasm. "Well, I've been through a lot when I was in Makai. I've come to the Nigenkai sometimes before but I always admired watching the ningens wake up in the morning and just live it according to what they wanted and desired. I wanted that for my life. I know a lot of koorimes would think otherwise…. But I guess I'm the weird one."

Botan nodded in agreement with her. She could understand that.

"Oh and by the way…" she started. "I want to apologize for everybody."

Jenn looked at her puzzled. "Why? They haven't done anything wrong."

"Well…we've all been kind of short with each other for a long time. It's just that three years ago… we lost someone. Someone who was really dear to all of us. Her name was Yukina. She was Kuwabara's wife."

Jenn sat there on her bed and suddenly felt sadness for everybody in the house. She also realized that Yukina was the beautiful girl in all of the pictures on Kuwabara's dresser.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know," she said quietly. "Yusuke never men-"

"And not very many of us probably will," Botan interrupted. "It's been really hard. And it doesn't make things easier when we bring her name up. Not everybody has reached that point yet, I guess."

"But you have?" Jenn asked.

Botan looked down at the ground remembering the sound of Yukina's laugh and all of the memories they had with each other and how much she missed her friend.

"I'm just the optimist of the bunch." Botan forced a small smile on her face.

Jenn smiled back but knew that it was harder for Botan to talk about this than she led on.

- - - - - -

Jenn sat up in her stool in the middle of the work out room and stretched her arms over her shoulder. Her hair was in two messy braided pigtails and there were a few pieces hanging around her cheeks from the layers in her cut. She was wearing a big short sleeve button up pink shirt that had a lot of stains on it. It was old and flexible and allowed her to move more freely which is why she chose to put it on. She had on some gray sweatpants that warmed the skin in her legs as she crossed them Indian-style onto the stool. She brought her arms back down to her sides and glanced at the big plastic plate sitting next to her on the table. It was richly colorful with the piles of colored paint separated from one another. She looked at her selection pleased. She had her primaries: red, yellow, blue and her values: black and white. Not the biggest selection but it satisfied her enough. She loved to mix her secondary colors. It made her work feel more alive and real.

She picked up a paintbrush that was sitting next to the plate of paint and dipped the bristles in the blue. She decided she was going to paint a landscape of mountains and rivers. Blue was her favorite color, so she decided to go with that has the first background layer. She brought her brush to her plain white canvas and slapped the paint on her canvas. It was messy so she smoothed it out with large and simple strokes. Suddenly, she felt a calming sensation in her body. Even though she had not created a masterpiece yet, she could not have felt more relaxed.

Hiei walked through the door of the work out room and saw Jenn over in the corner with her paint canvas. _Oh what now_, he thought. He decided to get up that morning and run a few miles to get himself some exercise but now there was an annoyance over in the corner. He looked at her and saw that she had not even glanced up at him when he walked into the room. He sighed really loud, wondering how long she is going to be here. His loud sigh broke her concentration and she stopped what she was doing and looked over the canvas at him.

"Do you mind?" he asked motioning that he wanted to run.

She shrugged her shoulders as she always does and turned back to her painting.

"I won't make a peep."

Hiei rolled his eyes and grunted. He walked over to her corner of the room.

"I've been trying to come in here for the past week but every time I do you've got your own damn studio set up over here!"

Jenn tossed her brush down in the paint, getting frustrated.

"It's not my problem you always have something to complain about around her!"

Hiei was startled. He didn't know what to say back to her and it surprised him that she shot back at him so viciously. "Just take your shit to the other room."

"I was here first," she picked up her brush and continued to paint on her canvas. "Now I'm nowhere near the treadmills, there's no point in hogging the room."

"If anybody's hogging the room it's you!" Hiei yelled.

"That's because you're acting like a selfish immature child who wants every room to himself!" she got off of the stool and stared at him in the face. She was tired of how he had been acting towards everybody, especially to her. She tried to keep it inside but she couldn't any longer.

Hiei stood there for a moment and looked at her. Everything inside of him wanted to pick her up and throw her across the room and then he wanted to take his fist and pound the shit out of her. But for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to do it. She just looked…..so _damn_ _good_. He put his hands on his hips listening to make sure she didn't have anything else to say to him.

"What are you painting?" he asked.

Jenn cocked her head confused with change in the conversation. As pissed as she was, she didn't want to push it anymore. She turned around and sat back down on her stool.

"It's supposed to be a landscape. But I just started so it doesn't look like much of anything right now."

Hiei walked around to watch her work on the solid blue canvas. "How long have you been painting?"

Jenn was shocked at his sudden interest in her life. She didn't know what the meaning behind it was. She looked up at him with the brush in her hand. "Not too long."

"Are you any good?" he asked.

Jenn motioned over her shoulder a giant black leather bag with what looked like a portfolio. Hiei saw the bag and walked over to it. It was a rather large bag, mostly wide and when he picked it up it was quite heavy. He saw that there were two latches on the top left and right side of the bag and he undid them letting the top of the bag open up. He reached in and pulled out a handful of drawings and paintings. He sat them on the floor and went through them and became amazed. There was a painting of a woman and her child in the park. It had been painted in all neutral colors and her brush strokes were textured and lively. He ran his fingers through the dry paint on the canvas and scanned every stroke. He saw that every line and every movement in her arm that she made created an image of reality. He scanned through her other pieces, nothing less than great. She had drawings of flowers and trees, children and their dogs, and quite a few painted landscapes.

"Wow," was all Hiei could say. He could hear her smiling chuckle above him as she sat on her stool and painted.

"Thanks but, really, it's unnecessary."

Hiei turned toward her as he picked up her work and placed it back into her portfolio.

"And you say you haven't been painting long?"

Jenn muttered under her breath probably about the landscape proportions as she relaxed her back away from the canvas. "Nah, not really. Maybe a little over five months or so. I came to Ningenkai and needed some money and didn't know a lot about getting a job. So I went to the park and saw a man painting portraits for money. I watched him paint and bring these images to life. Just the way he moved his brush on the canvas and how it made it look so easy. It was so beautiful. I sat and talked with him and told him how interested I was in painting, and he actually gave me some of his supplies. Before I knew it, I was there right beside him doing the same thing. I don't know why, but it just came so easy to me. My first painting he said was better than a college level's piece. I became hooked and addicted with it and I just kept at it and then with my portraits I made enough money to live off of. You know, when you paint, you don't just paint a picture. You make time stand still. You take that image, that moment in your life and recreate it on something that will stay that way forever. And when that happens…..that moment just stays with you forever."

Hiei watched her speak about her painting and even though she was talking about something so simple, he was truly in awe. He wished that he could have said something back to her but he could not find any words. Instead he looked at her in the eyes and saw how much of a love she had for what she was doing. She looked back up at him in his dark red eyes. For some reason, her anger inside of her for him faded away and she remembered the losses that everyone in the house was experiencing. Hiei's presence next to her made her heart race, even though he wasn't saying or doing anything. She blinked a few times hoping it would bring her back to earth, but she couldn't take her eyes off of him. Hiei slowly turned his head away from her, starting to feel uncomfortable with their sudden stares.

"Can I ask you something?" Hiei asked.

"Uh, sure." Jenn replied suddenly curious.

"What are you doing here?"

Jenn looked down at the ground and realized that he wasn't just talking about her presence in the room, but her reason for coming back to Nigenkai.

"I wanted a normal life," she replied.

Hiei shook his head and laughed a little. "What exactly is normal to you anyhow? You actually like this place?"

"Well, what are you doing here then? Yusuke's not making you stay."

Hiei felt a sharp pain in his chest. He did not by any means want to get into the whole story of his coming here. "I asked _you_," he said sternly.

Jenn decided to not push him anymore.

"I grew up in Makai with my mother and my younger sister. We were really close until one day I woke up and saw that they were both brutally murdered. Blood was covered all over the walls and my younger sister had been sliced in half. I sat there and just stared at my whole world coming down into pieces. I was never the same after that…..I learned how to fight and survive on my own. It did me well to get me where I am now, but the only thing that kept me going was the hate in my heart for my family's killer. They were my whole world….they were the reason why I lived my life. I searched and hunted down the killer for five years and finally found him asleep in a cave. With all the joy in my heart in that moment, I slit his throat open. I wanted to do so much more than that…. I wanted to make him suffer like I had. But that was the only way I knew to kill him. After I killed him, I went through stages of shock and depression. My revenge was what kept me alive and after I avenged my family…. I didn't have anything left to live for. I questioned my place in the world, wherever it may have been. Then a few years later I met Yusuke, and we handled a few things together. And here I am. Plain and simple."

There was something in her tone that Hiei noticed while she was telling him her story. She spoke of so much pain and suffering yet somehow, there was no pain in her voice. There was no sorrow or grief in her eyes. Instead, there was comfort and it amazed him. She had obviously been through so much in her life and yet she had become comfortable with her place here in Ningenkai. She gave herself a life whenever it was taken away from her. And she did it all by herself. But how? How could she have picked herself up like that?

"Didn't you grieve for your family?" Hiei asked as he sat down looking up at her.

"Of course I did," she looked down at him and sat her brush down, knowing that she was done painting for the day. She sat for a moment and soaked in all of the feelings for her mother and sister. "They were my whole world."

Hiei was speechless. He couldn't possibly have thought about what it must have been like for her. And he was amazed at how much they had in common as far as the trials of life and their tribulations. However, she was different than him. She handled her life stresses differently. He couldn't put his finger on it but somehow she had managed to make herself comfortable in the world that she made for herself, despite the hardships she went through. And looking at the way she interacts with people and her behavior, Hiei would have never guessed that grief would have struck her so hard in her past.

He slowly laid his head down. "I know what you mean," he said quietly.

Jenn looked over at him and heard the hurting in his tone. She knew without having to ask, he was talking about Yukina.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"**The Dinner"**

"Do you want to make green beans or lima beans?" Kurama took a can of beans from the high shelf and analyzed the brand. He could hear so many voices and sounds as he looked over the food label.

Jenn was counting up the prices of everything in her shopping cart trying to ignore the large crowd of people that surrounded her and Kurama in the supermarket. She should have known better than to come and grocery shop the day before Thanksgiving. She knew it would be crowded but not like it was. It made her even more nervous about shopping for food and she was incredibly happy that Kurama had volunteered to come and help her pick out the food. If she were alone in this awful place, she would have probably gone crazy.

"Well… I'm not sure," she sighed in frustration. "At first I was going to cook pinto beans but now I just don't know anymore…." She threw her arms up in the air wishing she could just give up, regretting ever volunteering to cook the dinner.

Kurama turned around and looked at her with a sincere caring look. "Jenn, don't stress out so much. Your dinner will be great, I just know it."

"Then why did you volunteer to come shop with me? You didn't think I could do it myself?" she asked him playfully.

He chuckled. "Cause even I have to have help grocery shopping every now and then." He reached up to the upper shelf and grabbed four cans of green beans and four cans of pinto beans. He turned around and showed them to her making sure that she nodded in agreement before he put them into the shopping cart.

"Beans are easy to make, so it won't be a trouble making two," she continued to push the shopping cart down the isle.

"It gives a little better variety I think," Kurama said. "Besides, Hiei doesn't like green beans."

Jenn could feel her stomach jolt when they made a turn from the end of the isle to the next isle on the right coming up to the bread. _He said his name,_ she thought. She tried to not show how much of an effect his name had on her as she stopped the shopping cart in the middle of the isle to look at the rolls.

"Did I say something?" asked Kurama.

_Dammit_, she thought. _I can never hide my feelings about this kinda crap… _

"What do you mean?" she asked trying to play it cool.

"Well, you look like you had just seen a ghost."

She tried to not look at Kurama directly in the face. She scanned up and down the shelves of bread pretending to be occupied. "I just… can't figure that guy out."

Kurama laughed. "You're not the only one."

"Well he's been asking me so many questions about myself lately but he won't tell me anything about himself."

Kurama paused and stared at Jenn. "Are we talking about the same Hiei?"

"How many Hiei's do you know?"

"But…Hiei doesn't ask questions about anybody."

Jenn looked over her shoulder at Kurama and for a split second, Kurama could see why Hiei was so interested in her. She was truly beautiful in her simplicity and a girl like that was hard to come by and he couldn't blame him for finding her intriguing. Because she was. She shrugged an innocent shrug as she grabbed three packs of rolls and tossed them into the shopping cart. Kurama just stood there in amazement trying to sink in the little but of information that was just spoken to him. _He was asking her questions about her_, Kurama thought. He had spoken with Hiei a little bit within the past few days but most of the time he could never find him anywhere. He would often walk by the work-out room and find Hiei and Jenn sitting in the corner where she painted everyday talking. At first, he brushed off the idea thinking it wasn't that big of a deal. But now he could see that Hiei really seemed interested in Jenn's life; who she was and where she came from. But why? Especially during this time where he was just getting over Yukina's death.

- - - - - - -

"May I help you with anything, sir?" the store clerk cocked his head over the counter and watched Kuwabara walk up and down the isles of the local drug store. Kuwabara had been walking around the store for about half an hour. The clerk thought he looked lost and alone. For a moment, he became a little worried for his safety because Kuwabara seemed a little shady.

"No, I'm good." Kuwabara called over the shelf of chips as he walked down the isle of the coolers. He stopped in front of the alcohol and looked at his selection. He had the usual whiskey choice. _No_, he thought. _Not strong enough._ Whiskey was good for last month, but this month was November. He needed something as strong as they came. He took a moment and glanced down at his watch. Six thirty. _Shit,_ he thought. Jenn would have the dinner ready by seven. He sighed trying to hurry up with his time as he looked over his selection. Wine, no. Beer wasn't enough either. Vodka…. After debating with himself, Kuwabara opened the chilled glass door and reached for a large bottle of green apple vodka. Green apple reminded him of the smell of Yukina's hair.

He rang up his purchase and made his way outside to his car carrying his brown bag. The snow had simmered down since he entered the store half an hour ago and he was happy that he didn't have to walk out in the vicious weather again. The wind was calm. A slight breeze but not enough to make your skin chap from the cold temperature. Kuwabara opened up his driver side door and stepped into his seat shutting the door next to him. After rubbing his hands together to form warm friction against his palms, he turned the key in the ignition and drove to the exit section of the parking lot. After looking both ways he pulled out of the parking lot making a right turn. He drove down the highway for about five minutes until he saw a deserted dirt road on the left. It was hidden behind a few of the trees that surrounded the road. He slowed down the car turning slowly onto the dirt road. The road was narrow only allowing enough space for one car to drive down. The road was shady due to all of the trees that surrounded it. Kuwabara knew this road way too well. Every rock and bump in the road. He knew it so well he could probably have driven it in his sleep just as well as he could when he was awake. He squinted his eyes as he saw the trees begin to slowly form an opening allowing more light from the sky to peek in between the trees. Just a little closer now. He turned on his lights to bright as he made his way out of the shady area of the road and came upon an opening. He watched the trees go by car and saw ahead what he came here for. The road had come to an end and was launched upward on a hilltop that overlooked a beautiful view of the snowy mountains. He slowly stopped the car and put it into park as he looked over the hill.

He could see clearly about a hundred miles with mountains in the background and the large pine green forests in the foreground. Snow covered everything and it reminded Kuwabara of postcard you could find in a gift shop. He looked over in the passenger's seat to the brown bag that held his bottle of vodka and picked it up tossing the bottle out of the bag. The glass bottle was rather large, about the length of his forearm. Without taking an extra thought, he opened the top and put the rim of the top to his mouth indulging himself into a big sip. The vodka burned his throat as it went down and he gripped the bottle with force as me continued to drink the beverage. Within every sip he took, it felt like it wasn't enough so he always took another. He kept on until a fourth of the bottle was gone and he laid his head back taking back in all of the breath he lost in his long drink. He felt his eyes burn as the water dwelled up inside his eyelids. His body began to shake from the cravings of the vodka. He lifted his head and looked out the wind-shield to the mountains and drank another thick sip of vodka bringing back the memory of Thanksgiving.

_The group laughed together in the living room with the fire cracking in the fireplace on the wall. The room was full of holiday cheer after a big stuffing Thanksgiving dinner and Yusuke was cracking jokes as he always did. Kuwabara who was sitting on the couch looked down next to him and saw Yukina laughing with Botan and Keiko. Her eyes lit up and her cheeks became pink when she smiled in laughter and his breath was taken away by her innocent beauty. After a few moments, the room became quiet and Kuwabara looked over his shoulder to Yusuke who sat across the room. Yusuke gave his friend a slight nod and smiled lightly. Kuwabara turned his face towards everyone and began to feel his heart beat in his chest._

_"Uh… Yukina" Kuwabara cleared his throat as he looked down at Yukina. _

_"Yes, Kazuma?" Yukina quickly turned her head up towards to meet his gaze and smiled. That smile. That same smile that made him weak at the knees. Just looking at her at that moment in time reminded him of how he felt when he first laid eyes on her. How he knew that as soon as he saw her he knew that he was in love and that somehow she was the girl he was destined to marry._

_Kuwabara took Yukina's hand in his and began to stroke her fingers. _

_"You have made my life so amazing these past few years that you've been with me," he began. Yukina blushed quite a bit and wondered why he was saying this now in front of everyone._

"_There are really no words to describe how you make me feel, Yukina. When I'm with you I feel more alive than I ever had. You have believed in me when nobody else would and you have been there to encourage me and lift me up when I needed it the most. You've become my best friend throughout these years and so much more than that. I can't go a whole day without thinking about you constantly and when I'm with you all I can think about is how wonderful you are. I love you, Yukina. I love you….with all my heart. And I want to spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you."_

_Kuwabara watched Yukina's eyes water up and her cheeks flush as he slipped off of the couch and knelt down on his right knee. He parted his left hand from Yukina's and reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring. Yukina gasped under her hand that covered her mouth in shock and happiness. It was gorgeous. White gold with three diamonds across from one another. She had never seen anything so glamorous but still beautiful in its simplicity. She took her eyes back up to Kuwabara and looked into his._

"_Yukina….." he said as he began to slip the ring onto her left finger. "Will you marry me?"_

_Yukina sighed in awe as she felt the ring slip onto the rest of her finger._

Kuwabara then let himself go emotionally. He pounded the steering wheel crying aloud and cursing the heavens. His salty tears fell from his eyes and covered his face dripping onto his lap. Soon everything in that moment became a blur as he drank the rest of the vodka in the glass bottle drinking away the painful memory of ever losing the love of his life. The woman he lived for and the woman he would never be able to let go. It scorched his throat but he drank more allowing the burn to come and wanting more of it. He didn't want to feel anything at this moment. He wanted his pain to be numbed and he wanted his broken heart to fade away into non existence. After minutes had passed by and the sips of vodka added up he felt the outpour lessen as he drank the last bit of the beverage. Frustrated, he opened up his car door and stepped out of the car throwing the bottle into the far off distance. After hearing the bottle shatter over the snow covered ground, he fell to his knees and wept until the tears dried out his face.

- - - - - - - -

"I'm starting to worry about Kuwabara. Has anyone seen him?" asked Keiko as she placed her napkin onto her lap. Everyone was just settling themselves into the dinning room getting ready to eat their Thanksgiving dinner. Everyone was present except for Jenn who was doing her last minute preparations in the kitchen and of course Kuwabara.

"He said he had to run to the store," answered Yusuke.

"But wasn't that almost an hour ago?" Keiko looked up at her husband concerned.

Yusuke shrugged carelessly.

"I'm sure he's fine." Kurama insisted.

"Bastard," Hiei said to himself. He tried to make it quiet and muffled but by the look on everyone's face he realized they overheard it.

"Let's not go there right now, Hiei." Kurama grunted under his breath sternly.

"Hn." Hiei didn't even attempt to push his fox friend. He knew that Kurama wasn't the most pleasant person whenever he was angry. God knows that he didn't want to put up with that right now anyway.

"So did you guys go do the doctor last week?" asked Botan looking over at Yusuke and Keiko.

"Oh, yes we did!" Keiko suddenly jumped almost forgetting to mention it to the group.

"…And?"

"We decided we're not going to find out the baby's sex until the delivery," Yusuke jumped into the conversation. "We want to be surprised."

"Oh that's nice!"

"But the doctor said that the baby is fine and healthy as ever," said Keiko gleefully.

"That's so exciting!" Botan clapped her hands playfully. "So have you thought of a name yet? Any Botan juniors?"

"In your dreams….." Yusuke rolled his eyes. "The only kind of junior baby of mine will be Yusuke junior."

"Um… Yusuke…" Keiko said quietly and almost sarcastically. "Until you can birth another human person out of YOUR vagina… we will not have any Yusuke juniors in this family."

Kurama covered his mouth to hide his sudden laughter. Botan, on the other hand, didn't even bother to hide her smirk to Yusuke. Hiei found the comment disgusting, not having a care in the world to even imagine Keiko's vagina. The thought of it made him shudder.

Yusuke's eyes widen. "WHY so crude?"

"I'm sorry you guys, I'll be right there! I'm just about done with the rolls!" Jenn' voice called from the kitchen.

Hiei's attention was suddenly taken away from Yusuke and Keiko and was now on Jenn in the other room. He had not talked to Jenn hardly today mostly because she had woken up early in the morning to prepare dinner and was just now finishing. But he definitely saw her. He came downstairs to grab something for lunch and he saw her cooking in the kitchen. She had quite a project ahead of her he realized but he admired the way she dove into it with determination. It amused him whenever she would make a mistake, like pour something all over her apron or whenever she burned the first patch of rolls. She would curse herself quietly, maybe kick the oven once or twice and then she went on with the cooking routine.

"Okay, here we go finally," she came out with a bowl of steamy buttered rolls that she placed on the table near Botan.

"Oh goodness you just outdid yourself today!" Botan smiled up at her.

"Naaah. It was nothing," she implied. Hiei knew, however, that it was a challenge for her.

They began to eat their dinner and to Hiei's surprise, the food was delicious. It was not anything that was completely over the top recipes but it was incredibly pleasing to his stomach. While he ate he would sometimes look over at Jenn as she ate and talked to Keiko about their pregnancy. She looked tired from preparing the meal all day but happy that she was finally out of the kitchen. She dressed up today too, he noticed. Her hair was curled and pulled up halfway with bobby pins. The curls made her hair look fuller and she even had on a little bit of makeup. Not a whole lot: a bit of blush, lip gloss and emerald eye shadow that made her eyes stand out even more. She wore a navy blue v neck sweater that fit every inch of her upper body. It wasn't even tight fitted, but it accented each of her curves and slenderized her appearance. Hiei couldn't stop looking at her. She looked absolutely beautiful.

"This is fabulous, Jenn." Keiko said picking up her glass of wine.

"Come on guys, really, it's nothing." Jenn shook her head wishing that she wouldn't receive all the glory.

"She's right though." Kurama chimed in. "You did an amazing job."

"Yeah, only because YOU helped me."

"It's wonderful." Hiei heard himself blurt out. He suddenly began to feel the room getting smaller as everyone fell silent at his comment. Jenn looked over at him surprised but smiled at him instead.

"Thank you…" she said quietly. It almost felt like forever that they locked eyes at the dinner table. She studied him curious as to what his very thoughts were. He had never complimented her before. Not like that anyway. And she didn't know what it was about but it made her feel warm inside. She had been complimented all night long for her dinner but for some reason Hiei's meant most to her than anyone else's. She could sense in the room that the others were watching them stare at each other wondering the same things but she didn't care. She didn't care who else was in the room. She was infatuated. Clearly infatuated…..

They were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and shutting really loud.

"Aaaayyyyiiii smells GOOOOOO…" they heard a cracking voice coming from the living room. Hiei put his hand on his head and clenched his fist in frustration. Kuwabara was here.

Kuwabara tumbled into the dinning room practically tripping over his own feet. His eyes were blood shot and he had some snow remains in his hair. It was obvious that he had been outside for a long period of time. His face was pink from the cold wind but still pale. He had tears all over his face and quite frankly, looked like hell.

"Kuwabara….." Yusuke said concerned. "Where the hell have you been?!"

"What does it matter to you, duuuuuude?" Kuwabara's words slurred as he took off his jacket and dropped it in the middle of the floor. He began to walk over to the empty chair next to Jenn and started to sit down, Keiko gripped Yusuke's arm telling him to do something about Kuwabara.

"Kuwabara!" Yusuke stood up from his seat and walked over to him. "I thought I told you a year ago to stop drinking. You're violent when you're drunk."

"You get teh hell away from me Urameeshee!" Kuwabara yelled and pushed Yusuke away from him.

"Kuwabara! That's enough!" Botan yelled.

"Yusuke, get him out of here, please." Keiko said calmly not wanting to upset Kuwabara.

"Come on, man. Let's go." Yusuke grabbed Kuwabara's arm and lifted him up from the chair.

"Don't touch me you fag!" he punched Yusuke in the face and Yusuke fell down on his back behind Jenn's seat.

Kurama and Hiei automatically stood up in their chairs in case Yusuke needed some assistance.

"Kuwabara!! Stop it!!" Keiko shrieked.

"AND YOU!!" Kuwabara grabbed Jenn's arm yanking her out of her chair and standing her up with him. Hiei's heart skipped a beat when he saw Kuwabara touch Jenn. Jenn remained calm not wanting to make matters worse and not wanting to hurt him. "What the hell are you doing….You slut! You're in Yukina's seat!!"

Rage shot through Hiei when he saw Kuwabara raise his hand to strike Jenn. He suddenly leaped onto the table and tackled Kuwabara onto the ground and punched him in the face.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" Hiei screamed as he continued to hit Kuwabara letting out all of his anger on him that he kept in over the last three years.

"Hiei!! STOP IT!!" Jenn screamed grabbing his arm and pulling him off of him. Kurama came over to the other end of the table to break up both of them he grabbed Kuwabara until Yusuke came over and took his other arm.

"That's it. I'm fed up with you!" Yusuke yelled angrily. "If you weren't so drunk I'd kick your ass so bad right now! Now let's go. You're going upstairs."

The rest of the room watched in shock as Kurama and Yusuke pulled Kuwabara out of the dinning room kicking and screaming. They listened to him desperately try to fight off his two friends as they took him upstairs. Hiei was shaking in anger unable to control himself. He wanted to go upstairs and slit his throat. He wanted to strangle him with his bare hands for bringing up Yukina in such a raunchy way. He was so mad that he totally forgot that he almost attacked Jenn. All he could think about was how much he wanted to kill him. Jenn slowly walked over to Hiei to see if he was okay but stopped when she realized he was shaking in anger. He looked over his shoulder at her with her concerned look on her face. Without wanting to bother, he turned his face away from hers and walked out of the room and upstairs. Jenn sighed in disappointment when she saw him leave the room without a word about what happened. She hung her head before she heard Botan come over to her.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she assured.

Keiko walked over to them this time. "I am so sorry about this," she said. "I don't even have an excuse for Kuwabara at all. What he did was awful."

"He's mourning," Jenn said looking at her flatly. "It's understandable for him."

Keiko was surprised that she knew about Yukina but didn't feel like asking her questions about it. "But he could have hurt you!"

Jenn laughed. "He would have tried to. I don't know about succeeding."

Botan and Keiko laughed slightly, relieved that she wasn't all that upset about his outburst. They were quiet among each other for a moment until Botan suddenly thought of something she didn't realize before.

"Hiei wasn't very happy whenever Kuwabara laid his hands on you," she said with her eyebrows raised.

"He was pissed alright, but not because Kuwabara was about to hit me," she said. And she believed it too.

"No… He was protecting you."

- - - - - -

Hiei sat on his balcony looking over the view of the mountains as he tried to calm down his fury of Kuwabara. He replayed the event in his head over and over and just found himself becoming angrier the more he thought about it. He tried to think of what in God's name Yukina ever saw in him and how much he hated that his sister had married a baka like him. Someone who is foolish enough to go out and get drunk in his own problems and actually have the nerve to come crash someone's dinner. He was so selfish. He never thought of anybody but himself. And when he grabbed Jenn… Hiei didn't want to think of her right now. He was too busy trying to be mad. But something happened to him when he saw Kuwabara grab her. He became very….protective. He didn't know why but he wanted to defend Jenn just as much as he wanted to defend Yukina's memory. Yukina was a dear and precious person to everyone and he hated that Kuwabara brought up her memory in his drunken foolish condition.

"Damn baka….." he muttered under his breath as he clenched his fist. He hated this house. He wanted out so bad.

There was a knock on the door of the balcony. "Hiei, it's Jenn. I'm coming out."

_Oh great,_ he thought. Why couldn't he just be alone? Why was that so hard to ask of anybody?

Jenn stepped out onto the balcony and tightened her wool coat from the temperature change. She shut the door behind her not allowing the cold air inside and hugged herself to keep warm. She looked over at Hiei who was sitting on the railing and looking out into the mountains away from her.

"I wanted to come up here and make sure you were okay," she said.

"I'm not. Now can I be alone now?" asked Hiei still not looking at her.

Jenn raised her lip wondering why he was being so grouchy with her. "Well do you want to talk about it?"

"Please," he said flatly. "I'd rather not."

Jenn sighed heavily. "You could at least look at me in the face when you talk."

Hiei turned around and faced her slowly. He looked at her refusing to let her face have anymore affect on him. He stared her down trying to belittle her and realized that he wasn't succeeding. She stared back at him in the same way. Suddenly her expression softened and she blinked.

"I also wanted to thank you for what you did."

"What did I do?"

"Well… for protecting me."

"I was NOT protecting you," Hiei lied as he hopped down from the railing and looked at her directly in the face. "Don't flatter yourself."

His words hurt and Jenn could feel her heart breaking slowly into two pieces as se watched him walk right past her and into his bedroom. She followed behind him determined to break through to him.

"Hiei, he's hurting right now. Don't hold such a grudge against him."

"I don't need any preaching from you right now."

"I'm not preaching to you, I'm just-"

"Just what? Why don't you JUST get the hell out of my room?"

Jenn was infuriated with his attitude towards her. She only came up here to comfort him because she knew that he was hurting just as bad as Kuwabara was. She wanted to tell him that but she knew he would just deny it like he denies everything else in the world. She lifted her head high and walked right up to him and stared at him in the face with fury. She wanted to show him how much he hurt her. She looked into his eyes and surprisingly she didn't see all of the anger he was expressing. She saw sadness and pain. It was the first time that she had seen his eyes like that. Though his facial expressions say differently, his eyes never lie. She knew then and there that it wasn't worth getting so upset over.

"I'm not gonna let you hurt me," she said quietly. "You're not worth my time."

She turned around and walked out of his bedroom slamming the door behind her. Hiei stood there after watching her leave his room and wondered why on earth he was acted like such a jerk.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"**Hiei's Sanctuary"**

Hiei woke up that morning and walked downstairs into the kitchen. Kurama had left a note on Hiei's door that said he and the gang were going Christmas shopping for the day. Something about the day after Thanksgiving sale. He snickered at the note, remembering that shopping with Keiko and Botan was pure hell and that they wouldn't be back till late that night. Good, he thought. He wanted to be alone today. He was tired. After Jenn left his room, he did not sleep well. He kept thinking of her and he didn't know why. He knew that he acted like an ass to her last night and he felt guilty about it. He wanted to apologize to her but realized he would not even know where to begin. So he wasn't even going to try and bother. He turned around the corner to the kitchen and stood in surprise to see her sitting there pouring her a cup of coffee.

"Are you…. Not with Kurama and the others?" he asked over his yawn.

She had her back towards him drinking her coffee and buttering her toast.

"I told them I didn't feeling like shopping today," she said. She turned around and faced him straight on.

Hiei looked up and down at her in her blue pajama pants. Her hair was messy and down and an inch of her cleavage was revealing over the tip of her tank top. Hiei could feel himself sweat as he looked at her breasts and the rest of her body. He looked back up at her, unaware that he was lusting right in front of her.

"Okay well…. I guess that's fair." He walked passed her and got a cup and poured him some coffee.

"What's on your agenda today?" he asked nervously, trying to make small talk.

She took a bite of her toast and turned back around at him. By the look on her face, he could tell she was irritated.

"You are not allowed to speak to me any today, understand?" she said flatly.

Hiei raised his eyebrows at her. It was the first thing she ever said to him that was remotely mean. "What the hell did I do?"

"You were an absolute ASS to me last night," she said walking over to him staring at him straight in the face. "I'm tired of being nothing but nice to you and have you walking all over me like some damn doormat. It may not bother anyone else in this house but guess what, it bothers me. And I'm not going to sit back like some pussy and let you talk to me like like that again."

Hiei was speechless. He could tell that he had really hurt her feelings. He had no idea what to say or even where to begin. All he could think about was how good she looked.

"Now I'm going to my room to paint and you better not bother me any today. You've pissed me off enough as it is," she bumped him in the shoulder as she walked back upstairs.

Hiei still stood there in silence and watched her walk up the stairs amused and somehow turned on.

- - - - - -

For most of the day, Hiei watched Jenn in silence. He sat in a tree outside the house, wanting some fresh air and noticed that the tree he was in was right outside her window. He noticed that he could see her and watched her paint in her room. She had decided to paint in the privacy of her own space to avoid Hiei. She painted probably five different paintings that day. Christmas presents for the others he assumed. He watched her mix her colors and spread them onto the white canvases making a beautiful creation as if it was the easiest thing in the world. He was amazed at how she worked with her paintings; it was as if watching someone who had done it their entire life. Every movement, every stroke, and every posture she created felt like magic. There would be times where she would take a break and go downstairs to get something to eat or drink. There was even a time when she put all of her brushes and materials to the side and took a shower. And when she walked out of the bathroom in her bra and underwear with her long wet brown hair dripped over her shoulder, Hiei felt his heart skip a beat. She dressed herself and brushed her hair until it became dry. She was so graceful with everything she did. Hiei could feel his body become warm as he watched her. There was something about her that captured him. Not just her radiant and simple beauty but how she approached things and her perspective on her life. She had become comfortable with her place in the world. She wasn't looking for anything remotely flashy for her life and she embraced the small things in life other than the big things. And he admired that so much.

_What the hell is happening to me_, he thought.

Later that night, Hiei came back inside and sat downstairs on the living room's couch. He could hear her coming downstairs as he finished eating his bowl of rice. When she hit the last step she saw him sitting there on the couch and felt her stomach tighten. She couldn't take his presence today. It was too much. She grunted and stomped into the kitchen. Hiei laughed under her breath as he heard her frustration. He heard her rummaging around with the food and dishes in the kitchen making the biggest noise. He knew she was trying to tell him that she wanted him to leave but he didn't want to get up. He was having too much fun listening to her. She continued to make noise in the kitchen for about half an hour and stomped into the living room, stopping in front of Hiei.

"WHAT are you laughing at?" she demanded in frustration.

Hiei continued to laugh at her, unable to help himself. "You're acting so immature." He said through his laughter.

"I am NOT acting immature!" she yelled and crossed her arms. "Just get the hell out of the house… go freeze in the snow for all I care!"

"Um. I live here."

"I live here too!"

"I've lived here way before you did."

"I don't quite give a shit."

Hiei was quiet for a moment.

"You've got a lot of nerve calling me immature, you hypocrite." Jenn shot at him.

"HYPOCRITE?"

"Yes, you idiot. What the hell do you think?"

Hiei put his chopsticks in the bowl of his finished rice and placed it on the coffee table. "Why do I bother you so much?" he asked.

Jenn stood there and could not think of an answer. This made her even angrier. She stood there and stared at the floor like some little five year old that just got in trouble for doing something fun. _He still doesn't get it,_ she thought to herself.

"Why do you care to hurt me so much?" she asked back.

"Hurt you?" 

"YES HURT, YOU IDIOT!!" she screamed.

Hiei jumped back at her shout. That's the first time he's ever heard her raise her voice in that pitch. He looked up at her and she continued.

"You think I don't know how it feels to lose someone close to me?! You think I don't know how it feels to think there's nothing else in the world worth living for?! You don't think I've ever been depressed in my life?! You act like you know so much about me; you don't know shit, Hiei. All you know are the things I've told you and that's not even a fourth of my life! Yes, I know what you are going through. Whether you want to believe it or not I do. So cut all this self-indulging shit. This whole act that 'nobody understands me.' Do US all a favor and grow up. We're doing nothing but trying to help you. I'M doing nothing but trying to help you…"

Hiei realized that her tone began to change in her voice; it went from furious to sympathetic. He sat in silence as he listened to her.

"I want you to get better, Hiei. I know all of your tricks. I know them all because I used to be exactly like you. Sometimes it hurts me when I look at you because I feel like I am looking at myself. You handle things exactly like I do. But… it's not the way to handle them, Hiei. It's just not! You will literally drive yourself crazy if you continue to look at your life that way. No matter how bad you have it, I can guarantee you there is somebody out there who has it worse than you. You put on this whole bad ass image but I know how you really are. You say hurtful things to everybody, but I know that you only do it because you are hurting yourself. I know that you care about everyone in this house. And I know that you have a heart big enough to love someone, or else you would not be grieving over someone you lost. I saw you for what you really were last night. When I saw the hurting look in your eyes last night it absolutely killed me! I don't want to see you hurt anymore… I hate seeing you hurt. When something cuts you, it cuts me. When you hurt, I hurt. I can't handle it. I care about you too much!"

Something happened inside of Hiei that he had never felt before or knew it was possible. He tried to say something but he couldn't. Instead, he stood up from the couch and walked over to Jenn slowly and stopped in front of her. He looked into those gorgeous honey eyes of hers. She started to shake when she saw him standing there in front of her. She blushed in embarrassment just realizing that she admitted to him and herself, that she cared for him. And she did. She cared very deeply for him. And without thinking twice about it, Hiei turned his head and kissed her softly on the lips. She closed her eyes gently and placed her hand on his arm. She could feel him shake beneath her as he pulled her closer to him. The moist of his lips made her dizzy and she ran her arm up and down his toned arms. His skin was hot and Hiei began to feel sweat come up from the back of his neck. So many things were running through his head at that moment as he let his emotions take him away. But the thought that

They parted from each other after a long moment and looked into each others eyes. Hiei was breathless and so was she. They stood there to catch their breath and was interrupted by a sound of someone coming into the driveway.

Yusuke and the others were back.

- - - - - - -

"Are you alright?" Botan asked as she climbed into bed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" Jenn tried to resituate herself in her bed as she turned off the lamp next to her bed.

"You look all flushed." Botan said. "I did see you and Hiei standing together when I walked in….. Did something happen between you two?"

Jenn leaned over on her other side with the covers around her and gently touched her lips remembering the memory of how his warm lips felt against hers. Everything happened so fast she didn't have time to sit and rethink about what happened. They kissed. It wasn't just any kiss she knew. She had been kissed before, though not very many times. However, she had never had a kiss that left such an impact on her. And somehow, she just knew that Hiei was going through the same thing that very same moment.

"I'm not sure…."

- - - - - -

It was midnight in Hiei's dark and cold room. He rolled over, unable to sleep. All of the thoughts in his head were bouncing around like wild bouncy balls. He wanted his head to be clear but ever since he kissed Jenn downstairs, everything in his mind had become a blur. He couldn't make one single thought clear no matter how hard he tried. No matter how much he wanted to go back in time, he still can't change what happened. _I kissed her._

He laid there trying to think what could have possibly come over him to do such an act. And then he remembered her speech to him. As much as he hated to admit it, everything she said was true. If it had been Yusuke or Kurama who said it to him, he would have scoffed it off and carried on with his daily routine but for some reason it hit him hard coming from Jenn. She told him that she cared about him and she told him in a frustrated tone. And frankly, it turned him on.

He was interrupted by the sound of the door opening slowly. He sat up in the bed and watched someone slide into his room shutting the door behind them. It was Jenn. She said nothing as she walked over to his bed in her black shorts and white tank top her hair down over her breasts. Hiei could feel his heart beat faster as she made her way to the bed and sat down. The same place she sat the night before. For a moment they stared at one another in silence. Her presence in the room suddenly made Hiei's mood changed. As he stared at her he could feel his mind become less hectic. She blinked her honey eyes at him and looked down at his hand that sat next to his hip. Slowly, she lifted herself up from the bed and scooted closer to him. They were incredibly close now. Their faces were maybe inches apart as Hiei caressed her face with his eyes. He took in every inch of her image and could feel himself begin to sweat when he saw a small dose of her cleavage from her tank top. He lifted his hand and put it gently on her arm watching her skin form goose bumps as he touched her. She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes feeling his hand rub up against her arm. His skin was hot. She opened up her eyes and watched him study her with his eyes.

"I lied to you," he said quietly.

She looked at him confused at his comment. Then she held her breath as she watched him lean inward for a kiss.

"Last night…. I _was_ protecting you," he said softly.

Their lips touched gently as Hiei rubbed his hand up and down her arm. Her skin felt like silk. She could feel their noses rub up against each others as she kissed him back deeply. She lifted her hand and touched his neck pulling him closer to her. She could feel his black hair in between her fingertips when she grasped the back of his neck. Hiei pulled from her lips and kissed her neck. She breathed deeply as she could feel the moist of his lips on her neck. He ran his fingers through her hair and she slowly lifted the covers above Hiei. With a simple move, she slid under the covers next to him. Hiei continued to kiss her neck as he placed his hands under her shirt and lifted it above her head. He pulled away from her to allow her to remove her top. She slid the tank top off of her head allowing her hair to fall over her shoulders and onto her back. Hiei stared at her bear-breasted on his bed and was captured by her beauty. She placed her hands gently on his fire hot chest and ran her fingers through his abdomen. She could feel his chest rise with his breathing as she let her hands explore his body. He laid his back down on to the bed and watched her touch him as she was hovered over him. He placed his hands on her hips and brought her down on top of him feeling her breasts brush against his chest and kissed her passionately. Her hair fell over and curtained their faces. She smelled so sweet. Hiei rubbed his hands up and down her body as he felt her slip her hands under his sweat pants. He lifted up his hips allowing her to pull them off of him. She slid off his sweatpants revealing the beauty of his nakedness. She leaned up further and allowed him to pull off her bottoms. He took both sides of her shorts and slid them off of her legs. He watched in awe as she lay down on her back next to him. He could feel her shoulder next to his and her brown hair spread out onto the white sheets. Feeling his heart beat profusely he touched her cheek with the back of hand.

He placed his hand over the side of her and rolled himself over on top of her. He kissed her delicately and felt them both shake from the feeling of their skin against one another. She lifted her leg and wrapped it around his caressing it wanting to feel every inch of him against her. He ran his hands through her long brown hair as he began to kiss her deeply feeling her lips kiss him back. Hiei massaged her tongue with his as he, without even thinking about it, began making an upward motion. She moaned slightly when he did this and he continued with the same motion. She gripped his back and ran her fingernails through his fire hot skin as she kissed his shoulders. He licked up the side of her neck loving the very taste of her. Their hard breaths came together in unison when Hiei pushed harder and listened to her whimpers. Their sweat made their skin moist as they rubbed up against each others. He grasped her hips as he made his way down to her collar bone, kissing gently around her chest. He felt his entire insides tingle with pleasure when she rubbed her hands up and down his back. She felt so good. He continued this same pattern until they both could not handle anymore and she dug her face into his shoulder to hide her cries as she felt him deep inside her. So many different emotions were running through both of their heads. He wanted to try and explain to himself what was going on but he couldn't. He couldn't think of anything. For the first time in three years, his mind was clear.

They finally rested against one another both drenched in their own sweat. Hiei could see where the sides of her hair curled from the moist of her sweat. Her body shimmered in the moonlight and she turned her head to look over at him. She was captured by his beauty. Hiei looked over at her exhausted from the continuous motions and from the erupted pleasure that had suddenly hit them both. She was speechless and she knew that Hiei was feeling the same way. Even though they spoke of nothing, they knew what the other was thinking and how they were feeling. They breathed hard until their normal heart rate came back to their chest. Hiei kissed her shoulder gently and caressed her hand with his. And in was in that position they finally fell asleep.

- - - - - -

Sorry for the short chapter!! I just felt like this was a good moment to end it. Hope you've enjoyed it so far!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"**Festival Cheer"**

Hiei woke up that morning to find Jenn gone. Her side of the bed was made up neatly as if she never came in last night. Confused and curious, Hiei slipped out of bed and got dressed in his white tank and sweatpants. He checked his room for a note and didn't find anything. He slowly walked over to his door and stepped outside into the hallway walking downstairs to the second floor. It was incredibly quiet he noticed. He tiptoed over to Botan and Jenn's room and peeked through the half open door. Their beds were made up just as neatly as Hiei's was upstairs. He scratched his head trying to think of where on earth everyone could be. Suddenly he heard some movements from downstairs in the kitchen. Wanting to see if it was her, he walked downstairs and turned around the corner to see Yusuke in the kitchen with Kurama.

"Why, good morning sunshine!" Yusuke called out to Hiei from across the kitchen.

Hiei rolled his eyes and decided to join them in the kitchen. He sighed and walked into the kitchen sitting at the table. "When did you become such a morning person?"

"Morning?" Kurama shut the refrigerator door pulling out some yogurt. "Hiei, it's almost one o' clock in the afternoon."

"You slept in really late, buddy." Yusuke tossed an apple into the air before he caught it and took a big bite into it.

Hiei's eyes widen in surprise. He really had slept in that long? Damn, it felt like it was seven in the morning. No wonder there weren't that many people in the house. Everyone normally developed their own little weekly routine. Keiko and Botan did a lot of things together like shopping, walking, aerobics. Normal girl stuff he assumed. Whatever, he thought. Kurama sometimes took classes at a college so he would be spending a lot of time doing schoolwork and Yusuke would always find something to do. Kuwabara on the other hand….

"Well, how do you think Kuwabara's doing?" asked Kurama. He could sense Hiei's anger rage up behind him when he said Kuwabara's name.

Yusuke plopped down next to Hiei at the table with an annoyed look on his face.

"Who knows, man. We went today and got him a therapist so he's gonna be spending the next couple of months with them and try and get his mind back together. I told him that if he ever pulled another stunt like he did last night that his ass would be out on the street. I don't care if we're close friends; I won't have that shit in our house."

Kurama nodded in agreement motioning to Yusuke to change the subject for Hiei's sake.

"So why the hell were you up so late last night, Hiei?" Yusuke asked.

Last night….

Hiei could remember every single detail of last night just as he was reliving it. She had come into his room looking ravishing. He was unable to tell himself why last night happened but it did. And that was all he knew. He didn't want to think about it anymore than he had to; he didn't even want to think about Jenn anymore. God knows he really didn't want to. However, he had come to a realization finally that he just can't stop thinking about her…. He tried numerous times to try and out his mind on something else, like his misery and all the crap he had been through the past three years but every time he tried to dwell on those things, her face would continue to come into his mind. With those gorgeous honey eyes and that long brown hair and that smile… He couldn't figure out what had come over him yesterday. She had yelled at him about how much he had hurt her and how much she cared about him. And for some reason, it made him feel warm inside. And then when he kissed her the first time in the living room her lips felt amazing against his. And then last night he couldn't let her go when she came into his room. He refused to let her go. He wanted every single ounce of her just as he had given every ounce of himself.

"I couldn't sleep," Hiei lied.

Yusuke and Kurama looked at each other with Hiei in between them smiling at one another.

"You know…." Yusuke began. "Jenn looked really tired this morning too."

Hiei's head perked up at the sound of her name and he looked over at Yusuke. He saw Yusuke's huge grin on his face and became worried. _Oh shit_, he thought. If Yusuke found out about this he knew he would never let him live it down. It would be the subject of the century.

"You wouldn't know anything about that now would you, Hiei?" He nudged Hiei in the arm and Kurama didn't bother to hide his amused laugh. Hiei clenched his fists irritated as Yusuke continued to shoot him obvious looks.

"So where did she go?" Hiei asked, still curious from earlier.

Yusuke sat back in his chair still smiling bigger than ever. "Ah, she went with Keiko and Botan to their aerobics class. She should be back in around an hour."

"Hn." Hiei stood up from the chair unable to be around Yusuke anymore and began to walk out of the kitchen.

"So, Hiei…." Yusuke called out. Hiei stopped in the middle of the room not turning around to face him. "…. Was it good?"

Hiei growled under his breath as he walked out of the kitchen hearing the bursting laughter of Kurama and Yusuke in the distance.

"Bastards…"

- - - - - -

"I told you Botan… I'm fine…." Jenn was trying concentrating on her speed and consistency on the bike in the fitness center. She could feel her sweat drenched head pound with a rush she always got when she biked. Botan was biking next to her while Keiko was in the backroom doing her aerobics exercises with the other pregnant ladies. Jenn and Botan were the only girls in the fitness center who were not pregnant, it being Maternity Monday in the gym. Though they couldn't participate with Keiko is the maternity aerobics class they were allowed to work on the equipment in the main room. It made Botan feel really out of place but it didn't bother Jenn. She was just happy she got back up to exercising again. She loved how it made her feel. For a couple of years she got into the habit of running three miles every morning. Most people she knew would run or walk with a group of friends but she preferred to be alone. It gave her a chance to sweat off all of life's problems and to reflect on the road ahead, both physically and mentally.

"I don't believe ya…" Botan was breathing deeply trying to speed up her pace. "You looked pretty flustered this morning."

Jenn focused on her exercising pretending to not pay attention to Botan and her questions. She was in fact a curious girl and not a day went by without her asking about Jenn and Hiei. The timer went off on both of the bikes simultaneously telling the girls their thirty minutes was up. Jenn sighed in disappointment knowing that she had no choice but to listen to Botan ask more and more questions. They slowly came to a stop in their biking and they breathed in the amount of work they just put in.

"You never answered my question, roomie." Botan smiled finally catching her breath and taking a gulp of water from her water bottle.

Somehow, Jenn knew it was going to be a long day. "What do you want to know?" she asked, giving up. She slid off of the bike and walked over to one of the treadmills. Botan followed behind her like a little shadow.

"You and Hiei had the whole house to yourself last night," she began. "Now when we came back home last night, you were both standing awfully close together. And last night I woke up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water and you weren't in bed."

Jenn could feel her heart jump out of her chest when she heard the last sentence. _Oh God_. She didn't even think about what would happen if Botan had woken up. She looked over at her shocked.

Botan paused before she went on and looked sat Jenn's expression suddenly realizing everything. Her eyes widen and a huge smile came on her face. She bent over closer to her.

"Did you guys……" she asked quietly unable to finish her sentence.

Jenn closed her eyes and took a deep breath hearing Botan's shriek before she could even think of an answer to her question.

"Oh my goodness!! I knew it! I knew this would happen eventually!" she jumped up and down cheerfully. "Tell me EVERYTHING."

"No. WAY." Jenn held up her hand refusing. "Now I don't mind telling you stuff but this I am just not going to talk about."

"Ok, that's fair." Botan shrugged and got on the treadmill beside Jenn's. She had so many questions bottled up inside of her. This was huge! She wanted to know so much more and she was confused as to how this even happened. She began to walk as the treadmill began to move and tried her hardest not to constantly look over at her. Jenn giggled under her breath as she ran, knowing that she was torturing her blue-headed friend by not sharing any details.

- - - - - -

Kuwabara picked up another photo of Yukina and smiled at the beauty of her smile. He sat Indian style on the floor in the middle of his room and pictures upon pictures surrounded him. He was in a good mood today. If he was otherwise, he would not be able to look at once picture without falling apart. _Good,_ he thought. _We're making progress_. After her death, he couldn't have taken one look at a picture of Yukina without falling apart. After he refused to look at pictures of her for a year, he took out all of the pictures he placed into a dusty box in the corner of his closet and put them all up on his dresser. He felt guilty for keeping them locked up in the dark closet. He felt as though he shut her out of his life for a whole year. As much as it hurt for him to look at pictures of her, it still gave him a sense of peace.

He looked into the photograph of their wedding reception and smiled. She had smothered cake into his face and he grabbed her face and kissed it in revenge. Shortly after, Keiko snapped a picture of them laughing with cake and icing all over their faces. It was a spontaneous thing for her to do at the time. She was always full of surprises. Each and every day with her was like Christmas morning to a young child. A special time where you unraveled a present that brought you so much joy. Except it was an everyday thing, not just once a year. He sniffed and tossed the picture into the pile in front of him and picked up a few more just before he heard a slight knock at his open door.

"Hey, man," he heard Yusuke say softly. "Can I come in?"

Kuwabara made a slight nod and Yusuke walked over and sat down in front of his friend as he continued to scan through the piles. He took in a deep breath as he looked around at all the pictures of Yukina. For a moment, he didn't want to say anything. Kuwabara looked at ease for once in the middle of his floor with the photos all around him. He also didn't know what to say to him. He knew how hard it had been for Kuwabara. Yusuke was there for him during the nights he drank himself to sleep in his sorrow. He would go out to bars to relieve his pain on whiskey and karaoke on the weekends and Yusuke followed him to be his designated driver. There had even been times where he got drunk with him just to make him feel like he wasn't alone. However, Keiko didn't like the idea of Yusuke getting drunk in bars so he stopped drinking with Kuwabara for good. They would have a glass of wine in the privacy at the house with the girls but he never did the bar scene again. After a while, he tried to get Kuwabara to meet other women, but that was something that wasn't even worth putting effort into. Kuwabara made it incredibly clear that he would love only one girl in his life. And she was gone.

"She loved taking pictures…" Kuwabara broke the silence between them while he looked at a photo of Yukina, Botan and Keiko making funny faces. Botan was making a cat face, Keiko had her bottom eye lids pulled down and Yukina's tongue stuck out playfully. Even in such poses, she looked adorable.

Yusuke scratched his head. "Yeah, she did, man."

Kuwabara sighed heavily realizing he had looked at each individual picture three times or more. He began to pick them up slowly stacking them in his hand unable to look at Yusuke still.

"Well, I came in here to see if you wanted to go downtown to the Christmas festivities with the gang later tonight," Yusuke said. ."They're having the nativity scene again and a parade and a place where you can but Christmas trees. Kurama said that they even decorated it a lot more than last year."

It was something they had done together as w group since Yukina died. It was always a fun time when they went. Botan and Keiko would always go to the nativity scene and pet the animals while he and the rest of the guys went to get a tree. Then they would sit around a fire drinking hot cocoa and look at the stars about them, unaware of the sorrow they had been through the past few years.

Kuwabara struggled with his answer. He really didn't feel like being around people but he knew he would hear from Yusuke if he stayed in the house.

"Sure, that sounds fine."

"How's therapy going?" Yusuke asked. They knew he had to bring it up sooner or later. And Yusuke hated to beat around the bush.

Kuwabara shrugged. "However it's supposed to go, I guess."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"It's not my favorite place in the world…. But I think it's more productive than drinking."

"You damn right it is." Yusuke stopped himself before he could continue on. Now was not the time to give Kuwabara another lecture and he knew it. He had lectured him enough about the night before.

"I know, Yusuke, all right?" Kuwabara sat back down with the stack of photos in his hands. "I felt bad enough as it was."

"Did you apologize to everyone?"

"I apologized to Jenn."

"Good."

"I don't know what I was thinking……" Kuwabara took his hand and put it to his eyelids trying to massage away his headache. "I don't know what I would have done had you not stopped me."

Yusuke raised his eyebrows. "Well, _I_ didn't stop you. Hiei did. That little man pounced your ass"

Kuwabara scoffed. "Don't remind me. I don't want to think about him right now. It's a struggle as it is living in the same house with him."

"Don't get mad at Hiei, he was just protecting Jenn."

"Why would he even give a shit about Jenn? He doesn't care about anyone else in this house."

"Well..." said Yusuke remembering his last conversation with Hiei in the kitchen. "He does her."

- - - - - - - - -

Hiei slipped out of the car and into the parking lot tightening his scarf around his neck as he felt the cold night winter air. It wasn't that cold tonight for some reason. It was quite chili but there was not a slight breeze in the air, which kept it for being as cold as it had been lately. He shut the car door behind him and looked around the town. Kurama was right; the streets were highly decorated with Christmas decorations, even more so than last year. The Christmas Festival was always something the town went nuts about. The town was not a large size town but it was big enough to hold an event such as this. The street lamps were covered in Christmas pine and candy canes. The shops were opened for all of the visitors and people had booths opened up on the sidewalks selling all kinds of different things. Food, fruit, hot cocoa, apple cider, homemade candy, caramel apples, jewelry, hand-woven scarves, mittens, etc. There was a stand that had a huge bake sell every year to raise money for cancer patients. They usually had four or five tables covered in pies, brownies, cookies and anything you could imagine. Keiko and Botan always bought something sweet to munch on. Plus their money always went to a good cause, which was good. There were different people dressed up as Santa asking for charity money. A large choir group would stand around one of the fires and sing Christmas carols all night long. They could be heard throughout the entire town it seemed like

Hiei watched Kurama shut his door and locked it. They parked at the library like they normally did because of all of the people walking around the streets. It wasn't far of a walk. Not even half a mile. With the notion of a head, they proceeded to walk down the road to the where the booths were. Kurama didn't get out of his class till later so he told Yusuke that he would catch up with him later. Hiei decided at the last minute to ride with him to the festival. He decided to stay home that night, not wanting to walk around the streets. Then he remembered Jenn would be here. He hadn't seen her since what happened with them last night. But he sure thought about her.

"I'm glad you decided to come tonight, Hiei." Kurama said among the crowd of people that seemed to grow the closer they got to the main street. They both glanced forward and saw the giant tree. A large colorfully and brightly lit Christmas tree was always placed in the center of all of the festivities. So if you got lost somehow, it was always easy to go back to the center. They knew they were getting closer.

"Hn."

"Well, you know Jenn is around here somewhere." Kurama winked at his short friend.

Hiei didn't respond. Kurama knew about last night and he thought it would be a waste of breath to try and deny it anymore. He tried everything in his power to act cool this past morning but it didn't work. He would just act like her name had no affect on him whatsoever.

"I know that you came because of her," said Kurama

_Shit._

"You don't have to say anything, Hiei. And I won't tell anyone if that's what you're worried about."

Hiei looked up at Kurama; it was the first time he looked at him since he got into the car with him. He felt incredibly relieved as if a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders. He didn't want anybody else in the house to know at that moment and he was almost certain that Kurama and Yusuke would go blab to everyone that they had made love. He didn't want that right now, he couldn't take it. But somehow, Kurama had understood this. And he knew that if Kurama would keep quiet about it, Yusuke would too.

They stopped as they came up to the Christmas tree and Kurama looked around and spotted Yusuke and Kuwabara make their way around the corner where they sold the Christmas trees. Hiei saw Yusuke stop in the middle of the sidewalk and wave at Kurama and Hiei. He could hear Yusuke shouting something to them about God knows what but he couldn't make out what he was saying. Kurama waved back at them and they stood there for a moment,

"I'll catch up with you later." Kurama smiled at Hiei and began walking toward Yusuke and Kuwabara.

Hiei watched Kurama disappear in the crowd and began to walk down the streets near the booths to look for Jenn. He hated crowds. He remembered coming to the festival one year and there were so many people, he got bumped in the shoulder every ten minutes. That wasn't the case this year. It was a lot more calming. There were a good number of people here but not enough to where they would invade your personal space constantly. He looked at all of the booths as he passed by them. The sellers looked cold from being outside for hours upon hours but they still had the smiling charm to their faces. Nobody wanted to buy anything from a grouch did they? He passed a booth selling home-made suckers and small children begged for their favorite colors to their parents until they got one. Hiei looked over his shoulders and couldn't find Jenn, or Botan or Keiko for that matter. Maybe they would be at the nativity scene.

Hiei turned around a corner and walked down the hill away from all of the booths and tents remembering that the nativity scene was always held down the hill at the field inside a large white barn. The town was built on a hill and families usually would take their children down the hill for picnics or even a game of softball. They used the land to build a park for families to bring their children but it was owned by the people who owned the barn. After they sold the land to make the family park area, they were going to tear down the barn but offered it to the Christmas festival instead. As he stepped onto the grass he saw fireplaces that various people had built and were roasting marshmallows and making smores. He could still hear the choir loud and clear singing "Joy to the World" when he walked passed the fires and swing sets toward the giant white barn. He heard and saw many children run around in their thick coats and scarves laughing at the sheep, donkeys and lambs inside the warm barn. Hiei always felt uneasy around children, especially the whiny bratty kinds. However, the sound of a child's laughter always gave him a sense of calmness. He walked into the main entrance of the barn and automatically felt the warmth. It was lit by fire lamps and torches set up all around the fences full of animals. He could smell the hay from the donkey's area and began to walk slowly around all of the people. He could feel the hay from underneath his shoes and he watched the younger children pet the animals with the help of the nativity assistants dressed as people from Bethlehem. Hiei suddenly stopped in front of the fence with the lambs unable to move. There she was.

Jenn and Botan were petting the sheep down at the other end of the barn. Botan was making faces like the animals and Jenn bent her head back in laughter. Hiei watched her eyes light up as he watched her laugh and mingle with her friend. She looked somewhat different. Her hair was curly and hung all over her shoulders as it fell from underneath her light purple toboggan. She wore a brown wool jacket and mittens that matched the color of her toboggan. For a long moment, all Hiei could do was stand and watch her. He loved to watch her. It wasn't just her heart-stopping beauty but it was the way she interacted with others and the world around her. She talked and played with Botan as if they were life long friends. And Botan loved her. But it wasn't just Botan. Anyone who came in contact with Jenn loved her. That was a fact. She loved everything about the world around her and you couldn't help but get an ounce of that content energy when you were around her. It was something she carried with her wherever she went. Why weren't more people in the world like that?

His heart skipped a beat when he saw Botan hug Jenn and leave her alone in front of the sheep. As Botan disappeared from the barn, Jenn turned around with a smile on her face and saw Hiei watching her from across the barn. She could feel herself begin to sweat as she slowly walked over towards him. Hiei tried to move so he could walk toward her but he was frozen. _Move, dammit! _She stopped in front of him and looked up at him remembering the wonderful night they had just shared. God, she wanted him. She smiled at him and they locked eyes for a moment.

"Hi," she said quietly.

Hiei tried to say hello back. Instead he leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. Jenn smiled greatly and touched her lips with her fingers that were covered with her light purple mittens. It was not deep and passionate like the ones last night. But it was sweet.

"Um... I'm…" Hiei found himself speechless as he tried to apologize for suddenly kissing her….again.

"You don't have to apologize," she said. Hiei sighed in relief. How could she had known what he was trying to say? "I'm happy to see you here! I didn't know you were coming.." She smiled big again. _Oh god, that smile._

"Yeah well, um…" Hiei looked down at his feet unable to look at her smile. He was afraid that if he did he would find himself on top of her in the middle of the barn having his way with her. "I came to see you, really."

She blinked her eyes and her smile faded slightly. "You did?"

"Why yes."

"Oh. Okay," she couldn't help but smile. She suddenly wondered if she was smiling too much or not. "Well… I just thought that maybe after last night you would-"

"I would what?" Hiei stepped closer to her interrupting her sentence.

Jenn took a deep breath and paused for a moment before she continues. To Hiei, that pause seemed like eternity.

"I don't really do those kinds of things, Hiei. Like last night.. I got carried away and did some things I really shouldn't have done. It was foolish of me and-"

Hiei held up his hand before she could continue. "Why don't we go for a walk?"

Jenn raised her eyebrows in surprisement. "Are you sure?" 

"Yes."

Without another word they began to walk along side each other outside of the barn, dodging all of the mothers and daughters and sons who were just now making their way in. They exited the entrance and stopped for a moment. Hiei looked around trying to decide where it was they could go. He glanced up towards the hill where he came from. There will be a thousand people there, he thought. He didn't want to be around too many people if he could help it. However, there were people everywhere. It would be almost impossible to have privacy this night.

"How about there?" he heard Jenn say and pointed somewhere to the left. He lifted his head and spotted a white gazebo a couple of stores down from the festivities on top of the hill. It wasn't completely private, as he could see come other couples walking by it. But it did have it's own space. It was white and decorated with pine and red bows. He nodded his head thinking it would have to do. He proceeded to walk up the hill and Jenn followed. She had to sprint a little to catch up with him. As they walked up the hill together, she looked up at him speechless. Part of her wanted to run away and never look at him again. She loved last night with him, but she knew it was very foolish of her. She wished she never walked into his room. Even though she got carried away towards the end, she knew what she was doing when she walked in his door. She shook her head to get her thoughts in line. _What the hell is the matter with me?! This isn't like me… this skank that flaunts around at other men, I despise those kind of girls! Now look at me!_ Hiei looked down at her as they stepped onto the pavement of the street and knew she was fighting with herself somehow. He needed to break the silence and he needed to now.

"Why do you regret last night?" he asked, surprised at his forwardness. He didn't want to just come out and ask it like that but it was the biggest thing he wanted to know. He looked down at Jenn as she tried to gather her words together.

"I don't regret it. I just regret how it happened."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not that kind of girl, Hiei. The girl who flaunts herself all over the place to get someone in bed. The girl who plays with a guy's emotions, takes advantage of him and then leaves it at that….You know?"

Hiei could see the gazebo peek its way in between the stores. He looked down at her unable to figure out a right answer. "I guess so."

Jenn sighed in frustration, not knowing how else to explain it. She continued walking beside him as she saw the gazebo get closer and closer. As they got closer, they could hear music being played. Soft band music and when they looked to their right, they saw a stage with a small orchestra. And around the stage were couples sitting, dancing, and holding each other. Some were standing, some were sitting on the benches, and some were sitting on blankets on the pavement. Even though there were a lot of people there, there was a peace about the place. Everyone wasn't wrapped up in the music or with the present buying, they were wrapped up in the person they were with. And in a few moments, all that Hiei and Jenn could do was just stand and look at everyone. After a long and silent pause between the two of them, they looked up at each other and then glanced toward the gazebo as they made their way towards it. It was even more peaceful up close than it was from the distance. There were candles along the edges of the white painted wood. Jenn stepped up inside onto the steps. Within every step inside, it smelled more and more like pine. The light was dimmed inside, the only real light source came from the candles circled along the edges. Hiei looked around inside the gazebo and saw that there were two benches, one on the left and one on the right. He raised his eyebrows at Jenn and she sat down on the bench on the right side. He sat down next to her. He wanted to say so much to her. He had no clue where to begin.

"I didn't regret being with you, Hiei, if that's what you're worried about," Jenn beat him to it. He looked up at her unable to speak as she continued.

"I just don't want you to get the wrong impression of me. I don't want to make love to someone and not have it mean anything. And I don't want to do it as something casually; I want it to mean something. Not just to me, but to you even more. You've been through a lot in the past few years and I don't want to make things harder on you. That's why I feel bad about what happened…..But… last night."

"Was incredible." Hiei looked up at her eyes. Those gorgeous honey eyes. "Last night was incredible. You were incredible."

Jenn could feel her face become red as she began to blush. "Yes, it was incredible…. But… I don't want to do that again for a long while, if that is ok with you. It was great last night, but I don't want to get carried away with it. I want to know more about you on a personal level, and not a physical level. Does that sound ok?"

Hiei was speechless. The fact that she wanted to invest her time, her care into him made him unable to speak. Why is someone as wonderful as her wanting to know more about him? Him of all people? There were so many other guys in the world she could get to know more, but she wanted to get to know him. _Wow,_ he thought. He smiled and nodded slightly still unable to speak. His heart melted whenever a bright smile came upon her face. A smile of relief, that he agreed with everything she said. They sat there for a moment until the band began to play "I'll Be Home For Christmas". Jenn's head popped up and glanced over to the band slowly swaying her body back and forth to the beat of the music.

"I love this song," she whispered.

Hiei stood up without even thinking and extended his hand out toward her. It took her a moment to realize what he was asking. She smiled slightly and took his hand in hers. His hands were so warm as he pulled her up and puller her waist closer in with him. She put her hand around his shoulder as they began to move with the beat of the music gently. Hiei's heart raced as they locked their eyes once again. She was a fabulous dancer. Though they weren't doing anything extraordinary with their moves, they were together. And he was holding her close to him.

"How do you do it?" he asked softly.

"Do what?" she smiled.

"Live the way you do."

She it her lip and looked down at their feet before she went on. "Because I owe it to myself and to everyone around me. Wouldn't you say so?"

"It's just that…."

"Just what?"

"You see….. beauty in everything. Even the things that are bad, you find something beautiful in it. How?"

She pulled herself closer towards him and his knees became weak.

"It's easy to see beauty. Especially when it's right in front of you."

Hiei closed his eyes as she laid her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm further around her waist as they continued to dance to the next song, and the next. Finally, they both lost track of time. But they didn't care. He didn't care. The whole world was invisible around them. He felt like through the whole universe the only thing that existed was them dancing together under the stars.

I'm sorry it took forever to post this.  Hope the long chapter made it worth the wait. Please comment!


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